It’s been one year since the birth of Jordan Sparks’ son, Dana Isaiah Jr., with her husband, Dana Isaiah. For the first time, the American Idol winner is sharing her experience of battling postpartum depression, telling Us Weekly that it took awhile for her to feel like her true self again after giving birth.

“Everybody knows about what postpartum depression is—maybe not exactly what it all entails because it’s different for each woman—but there’s this thing called the fourth trimester, which happens after you have your baby,” the 29-year-old shared. “It’s dealing with everything that happens with your body. Your body goes and changes, your hormones are absolutely insane.”

She continued: “Then you’re dealing with this baby and then something doesn’t go right. … We’ve got tons of people to hold the baby, but who hold us? Who hold us together? Who helps us get through all that stuff? Obviously, people in your family who knows what you’ve been through and had kids before, but sometimes it feels hard to reach out because you’re like, ‘How do I feel so lonely when this amazing thing just happened?’”

For Sparks, support from fellow mothers was one key to overcoming her depression, looking specifically to her friend Morgan, who got pregnant a month after she did.

“I would talk to her and be like, ‘I feel like this today. Sorry, I just needed to let you know,’” the new mom said. “And she’d be like, ‘No, I understand. That was me yesterday.’ I’d be like, ‘Oh, God. Thanks. OK. Good. I know I’m not the only one.’”