Dear B. Scott,
I have a problem with one of my best friends. We’ll call her “Sherri.” We’ve been friends for several years, but in recent weeks I’ve come to the realization that I just don’t trust her. She didn’t really ‘do’ anything to me, but as time goes on there are just more and more aspects of her character that I just don’t like. She started hanging out with someone that I really dislike, and up until recently I was under the impression she disliked this person as well. I mean, if you heard some of the things Sherri said about this girl you’d be shocked. Anyway — it’s the little things like that that are causing me to give her a major side-eye these days.
Do you think I should say something to her or just let it ride?
Dear Love Muffin,
One thing that I’ve learned when it comes to dealing with not just friends, but people in general, is that when your spirit is telling you something — listen to it.
If for some reason you feel deep down in your spirit that you can’t trust Sherri, then maybe it’s time you take a more passive role in your friendship.
I’m not saying end it completely, but by taking a step back you allow yourself to observe and really evaluate these aspects of her character that you don’t like.
As far as HER newfound friendship goes, my mother always told me that those who gossip with you will gossip about you. If Sherri has no problem saying negative things about this girl all while smiling in her face, it would be foolish to think that she’s incapable of doing the same to you.
Whether you say anything to her or let it go will ultimately depend on whether or not you want the type of person she is in your life. Some friendships are worth salvaging, others aren’t even worth the headache.