There have been a lot of posts and images on social media lately talking about and promoting something called “pedosexuality.” However, being sexually attracted to children is NOT a sexual orientation. It is a sexual disorder. And it is and should always be called pedophilia.
There are many powerful creeps in this world that have been slowly pushing for changes in legislation regarding age of consent and the classification of pedophilia, and we as a society have been quite inattentive.
It should be understood that pedophilia is about being sexually attracted to children. It is based on age and no two pedophiles are the same. The child can be prepubescent, under-developed, or over-developed physically, but the common denominator in attraction is always age. This is because most sexual abuse is rooted in the abuser feeling in control of the victim. And it is easier to victimize children than it is adults.
Pedophiles can be heterosexual or homosexual. So it is important that people do not link pedophilia with the LGBTQ community because it is NOT connected. The only thing they share is that society has treated both groups as outliers traditionally. And yes, I understand that at one point in history, being gay was considered a “disorder,” but the truth is, two consenting adults should be able to love and do whatever they wish with one another (gender aside). Not an adult and a child.
Pedophilia is never consensual because for it to be effectively executed, manipulation must occur. That is not how “love” or authentic attraction works. As a society, we must never allow “pedosexuality” to become a “thing.” No one should be able to stand proudly and say “I’m a pedosexual” versus “I am a pedophile.” The difference is that the former is prideful and basically subscribes to the philosophy of “I am proud that I am sexually stimulated by hurting or wanting to hurt children, and you should accept and be okay with that.”
These lines do not need to be blurred and giving pedophiles license to consider their disorder an orientation is exactly that.
Sexually abusing children is NOT okay. It is criminal, selfish, and damaging – emotionally, psychologically, and in many cases physically – to whomever is being victimized. It is a grooming process that is confusing and manipulative. And with all the victims of sexual abuse who I have spoken to, who were abused as children, NOT ONE of them said they ever “wanted it.”
For many, there is an emotional aspect connected to sex. Children are not mentally mature enough to handle all of the additional emotions and attachments that can come with being sexually stimulated. Even against one’s will, the body’s physiological response to certain types of touch and stimuli can be deceiving and confusing to a child. This can become a mechanism for a pedophile to manipulate or play on.
“See, you must like it or you wouldn’t be turned on,” causes shame and confusion in a young person in an effort to better control them, keep them from telling, and prolong the abuse. This is why being manipulated sexually by adults is an especially insidious act (for male and female minors). And it is no less insidious when it is done to a boy (by a woman and/or man). That should never be minimized because all kinds of issues are created in boys.
DON’T MAKE ABUSE OKAY.
I doubt any victim of sexual abuse as a child, who is of sound mind, will say that having an experience with a pedophile was a good thing, let alone a healthy and equally-balanced relationship. The truth is, we MUST wake up and speak against pedophilia vehemently. Why? Because pedophiles are starting to feel emboldened and like they should be recognized in a positive way.
I recently saw a very disturbing video of a man who called himself a “virtuous” pedophile because he claimed to have never acted on his impulses towards children. In fact, there are many people like him who are referring to themselves as “‘virtuous.” That’s like wanting to be celebrated for not killing people when you’re not supposed to kill people in the first place. Unfortunately, there are people who want to normalize and legalize manipulating and sexually abusing children.
We can no longer stand by disengaged in politics and legislation when normalizing pedophilia is being pushed by individuals, groups, and organizations like NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association… and yes, it’s real and just as disturbing as it sounds). We do not have the luxury of assuming that legislation this insidious could never make it to the floor to become a law to be passed. Our current administration proves daily that reason and rationale no longer have a home in Congress.
These are just some of the reasons why we must NEVER allow Pedophilia (a disorder) to be re-framed as “Pedosexuality” (an orientation). It is not a thing. It must never be allowed to become a thing, because if pedophilia is allowed be classified, normalized, and recognized as a sexual orientation, then NO CHILD walking this earth will ever be safe.
Neffer-Oduntunde A. Kerr, affectionately known by her nickname ‘Boom’ to many of her readers, is a freelance writer and blogger based in Chicago. Neffer has written for Ebony, JET and ChicagoNow. She is currently working on her first book and you can keep up with her on Instagram @itstheboomshow.