This month, a reader asks how she can feel more satisfied with her life:
Q: Busy as I am with work, family and church, I’ve had to learn to say no just to get a little time for myself. Yet lately, I’ve been feeling as if life is passing me by. How can I find more personal fulfillment?
Like most people with a lot going on, I have also heard the advice to “just say no” in order to snag some well-deserved “me” time. And, agreed, it’s important to prioritize yourself and your needs; if you don’t take care of you, how can you take care of everyone who depends on you? Still, I’ve found that the word “no” can cut us off from the kind of truly enriching experiences that make life worthwhile. So while others may urge you to “just say no,” I’m encouraging you to discover the magic of yes.
I remember when I did. Nursing the wounds of a bad breakup while in my early 30s, I’d started saying no to just about everything. Sure, I went to work and did my duty with family, but anything outside those parameters seemed like too much effort. I turned into a turtle, staying home to indulge in all the “me” time in the world.
Then my best friend from college asked me to go with her on a yoga retreat. “No” was out of my mouth before she could finish her sentence. Yoga? For an entire week? First of all, I’d never done yoga before; what if I didn’t like it or was no good at it? Second, the retreat was in the Bahamas. Did I really feel like throwing away a bunch of money on something that probably wouldn’t be any fun? No, no, no, no!
Read the remainder of this article in the April 2014 issue of EBONY Magazine.