Are you sick and tired of being single? You know, over 30 and just over IT? All of your friends are either in a relationship, engaged or married and you’re just busy going to the gym and taking shots every Friday?
Nothing’s wrong with being single, but if you desire companionship, you can view finding the silver lining to be a bit difficult and tedious.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that after reading this article you’ll find someone. No this isn’t another piece to help you feel better about being single. You’ve got to do so on your own. But what you will find in the below texts is a comprehensive list of why you may still be solo solo. Take time to reflect on these words and if you find more similarities in what I’ve come up with for this list than not, perhaps it’s time to do a bit of self-evaluation.
1) You don’t know what or who you want in a mate.
2) You’re flaky and inconsistent.
3) You lack morals.
4) You’re high-key promiscuous.
5) You date unavailable people.
6) You have yet to address past trauma in your life that continues to affect your relationships to this day.
7) You’re loud, obnoxious and ignorant.
8) You “want to be free.”
9) You refuse to get close to someone other than sexually.
10) You date people who have different end goals than you do.
11) You don’t love yourself.
12) You don’t respect yourself.
13) You have a serious issue with forgiveness.
14) You refuse to compromise …on ANYTHING.
15) You don’t have a relationship with your intuition.
16) You view fear as a form of “protection” from romantic hurt. Btw, it isn’t.
17) You underestimate what you bring to the table in a relationship.
18) You are comfortable with toxic/chaotic partners.
19) You think that if there’s no drama, the person you’re dating is “boring.”
20) You believe in “using” people.
21) You settle for less when you do decide to commit.
22) You haven’t met your “equal” yet.
23) You do not settle.
24) You know what you have to offer in a relationship.
25) You prefer to enjoy life unattached at this point in time.
26) You allow the world to discourage you.
27) You believe that all of the “good men/women” are taken.
28) You have other life goals to focus on.
29) While you may get lonely, you’re cool on a relationship for now.
30) You have trouble expressing yourself and what you want in a mate.
31) You prioritize your professional goals over everything else in your life.
*BONUS) You eat cold pizza. (Just kidding, LOL)
There are plenty of people in the world who are perfectly happy being single. I believe that you must be content with yourself before you can find a mate anyway. But if you’re one of the few that is frustrated with your current relationship status, it’s always best to start with looking in the mirror. No one’s is blaming you for not finding your mate just yet, but evaluating your past, present and future actions will assist you in making peace with yourself until he or she arrives.
Shantell E. Jamison is a senior editor for EBONY. She moderates various events centered on love, relationships, politics and wellness and has appeared on panels throughout the country. Her book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction” is available now. Keep up with Shantell via her website, Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.