I’m one of the most extroverted people you’ll ever meet, but when it comes to revealing a crush, I’m as passive as they come. Unfortunately, I’m not alone. There are a lot of shy, awkward, people out there, who stutter and trip over their own feet when they’re around their crush.
Those who are too shy to verbally express their feelings make it exceptionally difficult to determine if the feelings are mutual. Of course being straightforward is the best way to find out, but who am I to tell you to be that bold when I’m still working up the nerve to do so myself? While grand gestures such as fancy restaurants and expensive gifts are awesome, usually it’s more subtle actions that reveal a person’s true feelings for you. Here are seven signs that your crush may be digging you as much as you’re into them.
1. They Make Time for You
I hear it all the time: “We’ve been talking for a month, but haven’t gone out on a date because he’s just so busy with work.” Or “She is just really, really tired all of the time.” Stop right there. When someone is into you, they make time for you. That’s why it’s called “making time.” It isn’t meant to be easy. I get that life is happening, but just like you, he or she has off days too. You will be much more than a text conversation, FaceTime buddy or phone call to past the time, and you should be.
2. They Are Concerned About How Your Day Is Going
When someone likes you, they will inquire about your 24 hours and want to hear all about them. They’re interested in your day, mood and just about everything about you. He or she will be there so you can bitch and moan about issues at work or laugh with you about a random experience at Starbucks. Either way, they’re invested in you and want to be one of the first people you talk to about what’s happening in your life, no matter how minute.
3. They Pay Attention to What You Like
He remembered that you liked those chicken sausages from Trader Joe’s and surprised you with them for breakfast when you came to visit. She got you a subscription to your favorite magazine for your birthday. People who pay attention to the little details that make you happy, and take the extra step to provide them for you, are invested in you. They wish to associate themselves with your favorite things in hopes of you wanting to have them around like you do that chicken sausage. It takes focus, effort and dedication to pay attention to detail. You have to actually care to even do so. So the one who goes the extra mile to do little acts of kindness for you is really digging you.
4. They Don’t Shy Away From Meeting Your Family/Close Friends
If you’re involved with someone, it’s a very normal thing to want to introduce him or her to your family and friends. If your love interest shies away from that, they’re just not that into you. People who are interested in you make it a point to remain memorable. They want to meet those closest to you and are bold enough to answer any “tough” questions that are bound to come up during the encounter. They know they’re being filled out and are perfectly fine with it. When a person is not into you, they will have very little interaction with anyone outside of you. You won’t meet their family either, and you will spend a lot of time alone.
5. They Cater to Your Needs
When someone’s into you, they will compromise. They will sit through your favorite television show even though they might not like it too much. They will suffer through a meal even if you’re a terrible cook. If you’re sick, they will take care of you. (And I’m not just talking about cough drops and some Robitussin.) People who are truly interested in dating you go the extra mile. They don’t phony kick it, and won’t be so quick to not take one for the team. If you’re really lucky, they’ll be there to help you improve in areas where you may lack.
6. You Talk About the Future and Plan for It… Together
Someone who likes you is interested in knowing your long-term plans. Whether it’s a month from now or five years from now, they’re going to want to know where your mind is and how they fit into the equation. People who aren’t interested in you could care less about what you have planned for the future. Hell, they won’t even commit to a trip with you five months from now. If someone likes you, they will look forward to making plans with you, because their plan is to stick around for as long as possible and be included in those plans.
7. They Support and Want to Be a Part of Your Dreams
I can’t stress enough how much this particular point matters. When you’re really into someone, you support the things they’re passionate about, even when you don’t understand why. If she’s always at your flag football games cheering you on or if he really makes a point to show up to your corporate dinner party, then chances are you are the object of your crush’s desires.
Granted, there are some genuinely nice people out here who do some of the things I listed above with no romantic intent, but they are few and far between. Rarely does someone who isn’t a solid platonic friend perform the above actions without an interest in dating you. These tips are meant to provide a blueprint for you to figure out if the one you’re crushing on is into you, but at some point, someone has to say something. If you don’t, you’ll spend way too much time trying to figure out if someone’s into you vs. creating a healthy loving romance. Good luck and I wish you the best!
Shantell E. Jamison is an editor for EBONY.com and JETmag.com. Not confined to chasing headlines, this Chicago-based writer, radio personality and cultural critic is also the author of Drive Yourself in the Right Direction: Simple Quotes on How to Achieve Your Best Self.