Part of the reason why married couples wear wedding bands is to symbolize the never-ending love that culminated in their union. The other reason is to give a clear sign to others that they’re off the market. Unfortunately, there’s a certain sector of society that could care less about your commitment and are actually attracted to people who wear wedding rings.
As a man, I’ve never paid much attention to rings or what finger it adorns and was always amazed at how most women were so quick to assess whether or not a man was married in a matter of seconds. The good ones processed that information and kept their distance, while the vixens tested the waters of infidelity. I won’t let men completely off the hook on this one, as there are quite a few who will sleep with any woman that’s putting out—married or not—but it wasn’t until I got engaged and began shopping for my own that I even bothered to take note of wedding bands.
About a month before the wedding, I picked up my band from the jeweler, who suggested I wear it home to get a feel for it and make sure the fit was right. As soon as I slipped it on my finger I felt this weight. Involuntarily, I held my hand at a 90-degree angle like my arm was in a sling. I was completely aware of this foreign object on my finger and I soon noticed that the opposite sex did as well.
On my way home from the jeweler, I stopped by Crate & Barrel to pick up a few items for the wedding reception and as I approached the register I got a little extra customer service. The two women behind the counter seemed overly attentive to my needs and one even gave me a compliment on the jacket I was wearing. As Mrs. Rocque always tells me, “Just because a woman pays you a compliment or even talks to you doesn’t mean she wants you.” Still, my ego told me different and I found it more than a coincidence that this random compliment coincided with me giving my wedding band a test run.
Since then, I’ve noticed how my interaction with women has changed, primarily due to my wedding band. During my daily travels I’ve seen how a woman’s line of sight will drift down to my left hand. In some cases I’ll notice a happy smile—mostly from older women—and in others there’s a slight look of disappointment. To Mrs. Rocque’s delight, though, I’ve rarely come across a third reaction: lust. That’s not to say that it isn’t on the horizon, as I’ve spoken to several married men who say that some women are drawn to them because of their ring. For whatever the reason, there are just some people who like to pursue those who are unavailable. Maybe it’s to one-up another woman or because of some self esteem issue; take your pick.
What I’ve found most interesting about wearing a wedding band is how it’s changed me. While I love my wife dearly, even when we were engaged, I had the ability to walk the street as just another man. Getting married doesn’t make me blind, so I continue to notice attractive women as they cross my path but now I have this clear sign of my commitment to another woman on my hand.
Cheating isn’t on my to-do list and neither is the perception that it is. So whenever I spot an attractive woman or happen to make eye contact with one, I find myself looking away as to not give off the impression that I’m interested or I strategically place my left hand in full view as a clear indicator that I’m taken.
I’ve also been known to turn on the charm when talking to the opposite sex, but now I make I find myself peppering my conversations with mention of my wife as not to give off the perception that I’m flirting (too much) or a married man who cheats. Although I’ve never been into jewelry, now that I have one, I can’t imagine not having my wedding band. It’s a constant reminder of my commitment to my wife that keeps me in line. Hopefully, other woman will continue to respect that.
What are your thoughts on people who go after married folks? Would you be upset if your spouse decided not to wear his/her wedding band? Sound off!
Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, New York-based journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.