My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He was a struggling artist when I met him and he is a struggling artist now. I am a full-time student with jobs and I am having a hard time supporting the relationship: providing transportation to see each other and food to eat when we are together. I hate seeing successful couples going out, spending money, and enjoying life because I wish we could do more stuff like that. I really think his talent is amazing… I love and want to be with him, but do my needs outweigh that? How can I push and support him on to the next level? Should i just leave the relationship alone?
Well love muffin, there’s really no clear cut answer for this.
Never sacrifice your personal happiness for a relationship. Even though you knew what you were getting into when you first started, that doesn’t mean you can’t express change that you feel is needed. Relationships are ongoing and two people in a relationship have the right to evaluate the state of the union at any time.
The two of you need to have a heart-to-heart discussion about the stress his ‘struggling artist’ lifestyle is putting on you. Please keep in mind that in any given situation, when dealing with someone you really care about, you need to approach them with love. You can get a lot more from people with honey than vinegar.
You can’t expect everything to change overnight. Nothing happens that way. There needs to be a gradual progression towards a equal sharing of the financial burden. Identify small goals to start with and hopefully over time you’ll see the type change you long for. I would also suggest keeping track of your expenses to determine if they can be reduced.
Prepare yourself for the possibility that he doesn’t want to and will not change his lifestyle. People only change if they want to no matter how much we love them.
At the end of the day what it comes down to is whether or not your love for him outweighs the financial struggle.