My best friend and I have been friends for over 15 years. Our friendship has been off and on due to us being college students and trying to stay clear on our own paths plus we go to different universities. Wel, we recently rekindled our friendship our sophomore year of college. Last school year, I started sleeping with her middle school boyfriend because me & him go to the same university.
He and I have been sleeping together off and on for the past two years and half years. Recently she told me she rekindled her friendship with him and I don't know if I should tell her that me and him have been sleeping together. I know it’s childish, and that it was just her middle school boyfriend but I don't want to lose my friendship and it doesn't help that the few times she came to visit, she stayed with him.
She spoke on how he won't have sex with her when she's there and its gnawing at me because I know I am the reason why. I feel like a miserable friend what should I do ? Do I say nothing ? Do I tell her? Should me and him both tell her together? Like I don't know which route to go on this.
Dear Love Muffin,
I think there’s a lot more going on here than what meets the eye.
You’re assuming that their relationship started and ended in middle school.
Now, if they dated in middle school, still had something going on throughout high school and again in college — that’s a little bit different and you’d have a lot more explaining to do! And to be honest, that sounds exactly like what’s happening. If she has expectations of sex with him in college, that means that not only does she still have feelings for him — but there’s also some type of connection they still have. There’s an ongoing unresolved situation happening.
Of all the people she could stay with — including you — she chose to stay with him and he let her.
Think about that for a second.
You should definitely tell her the truth, because I don’t believe friends should keep these types of secrets from each other…especially ones where you and her could potentially be sleeping with the same person! It might be a little uncomfortable, but it’s something that’s bound to come up eventually and would cause a much bigger problem if the news came from him and not you. You all are so very young and relationships will end and begin faster than ever at this age. Prioritize your friendships always.
Submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott