sad black girl

[ASK B. SCOTT]
'I've Never Been Touched!'

She's college-bound and ready for love...so why isn't it coming her way?

by B. Scott, November 19, 2014

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sad black girl

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Dear B. Scott,

I’m getting ready to go to college and I’m super excited, but I’m also nervous because it’s supposed to be the time to figure out who you are and experiment with different things…like boys.



I’m 18 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even been on a date. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t think boys find me attractive. I’ve never had an issue with low self esteem, but I’m starting to think that I’m just not that cute. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing myself to Rihanna or Kerry Washington, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Do you have any advice to help me out before I go away? I don’t want to be ‘bae-less’ forever.

 

Dear Love Muffin,

You’re absolutely right. College is the time where you first start to figure out who you are as an individual and what you want out of life — but by no means does it stop there.

As you get older, you’ll go through several different versions of yourself that will each be true for you in that moment.

With that being said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not having been on a date at 18. You’d be surprised how many love muffins reach out with similar stories and experiences.

My advice to you is that you start college with a fresh outlook. You don’t need to change yourself or try to make yourself ‘more attractive’ to grab the attention of the right guy. A lot of dating at your age is time and circumstance. You’re about to embark on a journey and meet a ton of people along the way — one of whom could maybe one day be your husband.

Just relax, be yourself, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the right situation. I’m sure of it.

Love,

B. Scott.

 

Submit questions to bscott@ebony.com or tweet @lovebscott and use the hashtag #askbscott! 





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