Dear B. Scott:
I'm a 24-year-old woman who has been in a relationship for nearly three years. I used to feel like my boyfriend was my best friend— someone that I could depend on. However, things have been changing. He doesn't call, text, or stop by anymore. He doesn't make any time for me and always talking about work. Although he works long hours I still need to feel like I am a priority in his life. I have tried everything. I tried reaching out to him multiple times and just don't understand. I'm a great girlfriend and I always try to make him happy. I even workout twice a day just to clear my mind and relieve some stress but its not working. I'm always angry and upset. It's summer and I would like to enjoy some activities in the sun. However, things are just not working.
I'm a hard worker so I know what it feels like to not have time… but I always made time for him.
Now I'm thinking about taking time for myself and going back to school. I'm a simple girl who loves walks in the park, the beach, movies, dinner, bar & club hopping, but most of all I like the comfort of my man. What am I doing wrong? I thought the purpose of a relationship is about building and growing. Instead, it seems like I'm the only one growing. HELP!
Dear Love Muffin,
The thing about being in such a serious relationship at such a young age is that you’re at a point where you both are figuring out who you are and what you want out of life.
While it would be ideal for you to grow together, there’s a chance that while growing as individuals, you two will grow apart and that’s what I believe is happening.
The most unfortunate part about growing apart is that there’s really nothing you can do about it. If you’ve let him know how you feel and have made whatever personal adjustments you feel that you need to make and he’s still not giving you what you need, then maybe it’s best you move on. You don’t need a boyfriend to do any of the fun summer activities you said you’re missing out on. All you need is a good girlfriend or two and a plan!
If you’re still considering taking time for yourself, I don’t think that’s a bad idea. A healthy relationship shouldn’t make you angry or upset. At the end of the day, if someone really wants to make time for you, they will.
Love,
B. Scott
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