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ASK B. Scott: ‘Is it Ever Okay to Do ‘It’ on the First Date?’


Dear B. Scott: I’ve been talking to this guy for a while and we’re getting ready to go on our first date. Since we've been getting to know each other for a significant amount of time, I was wondering…what do you think about sex on the first date?

I personally feel that if you decide you want to have sex on the first date, it’s okay. Two consenting adults can have sex whenever they mutually decide. However, you have to be mentally ready for what could happen next. Having sex could bring you two closer. But, love muffin, it could very well cause your budding relationship to climax too early (no pun intended) and either party could lose interest.

Whatever the case may be, you have to make sure that in your spirit you’re okay with both possible outcomes.

Traditional means of ‘dating’ have evolved. Back in the day you’d meet someone in public, talk on the phone, set up a date, go out. After a few outings, then you’d decide whether or not sex was an option.

It’s 2012. You might meet someone online, you spend all day and night texting them, interact via social media and send them pictures. With all these methods of communication taking place before the actual ‘date’, you may already feel that you are familiar enough with the person to have sex with them. I wouldn’t be surprised if you two have already discussed it.

That being said, when I first meet someone, I like to keep my mysterious allure by building upon our sensual moments during the beginning stages of dating. In North Carolina, my Grandma taught me the importance of ‘courting’ which is the process of taking your time to get to know someone you’re romantically interested in. She told me once ‘if you give ‘em all your goodies on the first visit, there’s no reason to come back to the store.’ Something to think about, even in these modern times. 


B. Scott

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