In life, the only thing a person should assume is that they should never make assumptions. People can tell you anything, but you’ll rarely discover what you wish to know if you do not open your mouth.
When it comes to love, the last thing someone who is looking for serious commitment should do is figure the one they’re dating has the same end-goal. Here are 5 must-ask questions to ask someone before moving forward.
1) “What are you looking for?”
Again, you are not in control of how people answer a question, but it’s best to ask anyway. If you’re looking for a serious commitment, you do not want to waste your time, energy and effort attempting to convince someone to be with you. Finding out what someone is looking for romantically will save you both the headache. Only entertain those who are on what you are on.
2) “Do you want to have children?”
Most people assume that if folks want a serious relationship or to get married, they automatically wish to become parents. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A growing number of healthy, able-bodied adults are starting to prefer a life without children. Make sure you commit to someone who agrees with and desires the same lifestyle as you. Even if you encounter someone who desires to be a parent, make sure that you clarify if and how they plan to do so. Do they wish to have biological children? Is adoption or becoming a foster parent an option? You’d be surprised by the number of people who get married …and divorced, because they didn’t have this very important conversation. Don’t be one of them.
3) “How many children do you want to have?”
Finding out the number of children your potential life partner desires is just as important as knowing whether or not they want to become parents. Children are wonderful blessings, but having three children as opposed to one child makes a big difference. If improperly prepared, having too many little ones can affect not only your pockets, but your sanity.
4) “Do you believe in practicing monogamy?”
If you want a serious relationship, the best thing you can do is date someone who views relationships like you do. Assuming that someone views commitment the same way you do is one of the quickest ways to waste time. While a person may not proudly tout that they’re a polygamous, it is best to find out their views on fidelity. There are folks out there who find it perfectly fine to have multiple sex partners (as long as there aren’t any emotional ties to them besides you), while others prefer a completely solidified commitment on all fronts.
5) “Are you ready for this?”
You can never been fully prepared for anything that life has to offer. All that you can do is weather the storm. But one’s commitment and ability to navigate tough times depends on one thing: a desire to do so. Everyone isn’t necessarily ready for lifelong commitment. While they may say their looking for a serious relationship, it’s best to get clarification.