In life, the only thing a person should assume is that they should never make assumptions. People can tell you anything, but you’ll rarely discover what you wish to know if you do not open your mouth.
When it comes to love, the last thing someone who is looking for serious commitment should do is assume the one they’re dating has the same end-goal. Below are five must-ask questions to ask someone before moving forward.
1. “What are you looking for?”
You are not in control of how people answer a question, but it’s best to ask anyway. If you’re looking for a serious commitment, you do not want to waste your time, energy and effort attempting to convince someone to be with you. Finding out what your potential partner life is looking for romantically will save you both the headache. Entertain only those who are on what you are on.
2. “Do you want to have children?”
Most people assume that if folks want a serious relationship or to get married, they automatically wish to become parents. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A growing number of healthy, able-bodied adults prefer a life without children. Make sure you commit to someone who agrees with and desires the same lifestyle as you. Even if you encounter someone who desires to be a parent, make sure you clarify if and how they plan to do so. Do they wish to have biological children? Is adoption or becoming a foster parent an option? You’d be surprised by the number of people who get married–and divorced–because they didn’t have this very important conversation. Don’t be one of them.
3. “How many children do you want to have?”
Finding out the number of children your potential life partner desires is just as important as knowing whether they want to become parents. Children are wonderful blessings, but there is a big difference between having three children as opposed to one child. If improperly prepared, having too many little ones can affect not only your pockets but also your sanity.
4. “Do you believe in practicing monogamy?”
If you want a serious relationship, the best thing you can do is date someone who views relationships the same way you do. Assuming someone shares your feelings about commitment is one of the quickest ways to waste time, so it is best to find out their views on fidelity. There are folks out there who find it perfectly fine to have multiple sex partners (as long as there aren’t any emotional ties to them besides you), while others prefer a completely solidified commitment on all fronts.
5. “Are you ready for this?”
You can never been fully prepared for anything that life has to offer; all you can do is weather the storm. But a person’s commitment and ability to navigate tough times depends on one thing: a desire to do so. Everyone isn’t necessarily ready for lifelong commitment. Though they may say they’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s best to get clarification.