When it comes to Black Love, our passion is unmatched. But even in the midst of our strong wave of emotions, life gets in the way. Over time, the daily “good morning” texts messages fade and the enthusiasm when speaking to our mate lags.

Life has a way of sucking the soul out of you at times, but it is best to remain as youthful, excited and committed to your love life as much as possible. If your relationship appears to be going down that slippery slope, here are five ways to transform it.

1. Remember why you fell in love.

When we get wrapped up in the day-to-day grind, it’s fairly easy to lose focus of why we chose our mate in the first place. Ideally, he or she stood out from the rest. You didn’t settle for basic, so be sure not to settle for it now that a little time has gone by.

2. Replace arguments with experiences.

Any time you feel an argument coming on, take a trip. This isn’t to say that a tropical island will fix all of your problems, it just means that perhaps you need a change of scenery. It’s difficult to stay mad in paradise. Allow a new destination to peacefully affect your aura. That way, you can refocus and calmly work toward a solution.

3. Activate the youth in you!

No matter how old we get or how much responsibility we may incur, our youthfulness never goes away. We’ve just lost our way to Never-never land. A large part of loving relationships is one’s ability to make their partner feel alive. Work to incorporate a series of mindlessly fun activities into your routine. Your hectic schedule, racing mind and love life with thank you for it.

4.  Commit to not just your mate, but their evolution.

When you sign up for a relationship (because unless you’re in an arranged marriage that’s what we do), you aren’t just committing to a person; you are committing to their evolution. People change over time, and being able to accept one’s evolution (if it is a positive one that aligns with your life path) could greatly aid you in fostering a closer connection with your mate. By committing to his or her evolution, you are able to genuinely support them in all that they wish to do.

5. Create a collective vision.

When you have a stake in something, whether it be a project, professional goal or financial investment, you are more inclined to put your best foot forward. The same thing goes for love. Work with your mate to establish unified goals that will bring you both satisfaction. It will remind you that you are indeed a team and that both “halves” are valuable to the “whole” of your relationship.

Most times, relationships don’t need to be transformed, they just need a little boast. With a bit of commitment, honesty and passion, these tips will take you a long way—together.