My name is Melissa and I am a mother to two wonderful children and wife to an amazing man named Jonathan. Our lives together over the past 3 years have been everything I’ve ever dreamed of, however, it hasn’t always been bliss and unfortunately the path to our love caused a lot of people pain. See when I first met Jon he was in another relationship, with my best friend.
Kayla and I met in high school and were thick as thieves from the start. We always stuck to the “girl code” with the number one rule being “Thou shalt not covet thy BFF’s man,” that is until Jon came along. When Kayla first brought him around 10 years ago I was genuinely happy for them. Kayla’s previous relationship was a train wreck that broke her spirit, but when Jon came along, he brought her happy glow back and that was good enough for me. The first sign that there might be a connection between Jon and I was when I started dating a new guy a little over a year into their relationship. We all went on a double date where he proceeded to grill the guy I was with in a way that left both Kayla and I puzzled. Jon acted more like a jealous ex than a friend looking out, but he brushed it off as him just having a bad sense about the guy. I knew better.
After that incident everything seemed normal. We got along well, had a ton in common, but our relationship stayed strictly platonic. When Jon decided he wanted to settle down and marry Kayla, he asked me to help him pick out the ring and that was my first sense that my feelings towards him were more than just friendly. It hurt, literally, to stand there and pick out my best friend’s engagement ring and I think Jon noticed my pain because he asked me what I thought about him proposing and if I knew of any reason why he shouldn’t go through with it. We stood there in the jewelry store staring into each other’s eyes, I wanted to tell him my feelings and, according to Jon, he was waiting to hear that I cared for him. The world stopped, love filled the room and then almost as quickly as it came, it left because we knew our feelings could go no further. The proposal was romantic and the wedding that followed a year later was something out of a fairytale, but through it all, Jon and I shared silent glances that let us both know we were in an impossible situation.
After the wedding I distanced myself from the situation a bit. I mean, it was only right with everything that I was feeling. I love Kayla like a sister and the last thing I wanted to be was a homewrecker, but after a particularly bad fight with Jon, Kayla asked me to come over and just like that we were thick as thieves again…and Jon as I were back to fighting feelings. One evening we were all preparing to watch a movie, Kayla and Jon were on the couch, I was in the kitchen having a conversation with Jon across the room. Things flowed so easy that we forgot Kayla was even there and when the silence came it finally hit Kayla what was potentially going on and she exploded. Although nothing physical had happened between us, it was in that moment that she felt the emotional connection that had developed and despite us trying to reassure her that everything was fine, she knew what she was feeling and she was hurt. Kayla refused to speak to me and so did Jon, and the two of them began couple's counseling. One afternoon out of the blue Kayla called and from the minute I said hello she was cursing me out, so much was said that I can’t remember, but the words I remember changed the game forever: “He just told me he loves you. He can’t live a lie anymore because he f&%#ing loves YOU! My marriage is over! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” I tried calling her back, but she didn’t answer. Those were the last words she ever said to me.
It took a few years after the divorce for Jon and I to even speak, let alone date. So much hurt and pain was caused by this situation that at the time we couldn’t see ourselves together even though it was clear we had strong feelings for one another. However, once we did speak it was clear that time and distance changed nothing and being together felt right. We took it slow, we went to therapy, we prayed together and eventually we got married and now three years later we are happier than ever. Neither of us intended to hurt Kayla, and I wish I would’ve had a chance to explain, but I understand why she never wanted to hear from me again.
If I could do it all over again, I’m not sure what I could’ve done differently or how I could’ve turned off my feelings for Jon. As messed up as it is, sometimes you truly cannot help who you love and Jon and I do love each other and have built a beautiful family from that love. My only regret is that it hurt someone that I cared for deeply and if Kayla is out there in the universe reading this, I just want her to know that for what it’s worth I miss her, I’m sorry and I hope she found a love worthy of the amazing woman she is.
As told to Danielle Pointdujour