When you’re a reality TV star, the more drama-filled your life, the better.
And while most people will gladly allow the cameras to zoom into their most private affairs, The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Cynthia Bailey chose to keep harsh feelings about her ex-hubby, Peter Thomas, to herself.
Bailey’s divorce played out in full across airwaves, giving her an ample amount of time and opportunity to drag Thomas through the mud for the world to see. But instead of giving into pressure from producers, Bailey opted not to publicly diss Peter as they sought to finalize the end of their union.
The YBF reports that while speaking on a panel at the Sisters in Power event in Dallas last weekend, Bailey explained why she chose to take the high road.
“When I decided that I was going to get divorced from Peter and the new season was beginning to tape, I went to the producers and said, ‘I have a deal breaker. I’m going to be getting a divorce but I refuse to drag this Black man on national TV.’ Sure our divorce wasn’t perfect, there were a lot of conditions, conversations and text messages. We said unthinkable things to each other, but I’ve always said that I’m going to leave this relationship with the same amount of respect, integrity and grace that I came into this marriage with.”
The producers would come to me and say, ‘He may come for you and he may do this…’ and I would tell them that I don’t give a damn what Peter does, he can go on Wendy Williams and do as many interviews as he wants, I know what I gave to this marriage and he knows what I gave to this marriage. One of the things I’m most proud of is going through this divorce and not making it a s*** show.”
Well played Cynthia. In a world where many are eager to blast their significant other, Ms. Bailey chose the opposite. Here are three additional reasons why not to trash your ex after a breakup/divorce.
1) You will appear to be bitter, scorned and resentful.
Breaking up isn’t easy. Even if you have the most graceful personality, there are times when you will reflect on things that happened in your relationship and get angry all over again. While it is easier to just lash out and act on your emotions, doing so is anything but beneficial. Plus, those who witness your antics will immediately label you as scorned and bitter. While we shouldn’t give a damn about what people think, it is best to be mindful of how you are presenting yourself during a breakup. Potential suitors will certainly note how you behave during times of difficulty.
2) You will feed those who are praying for your downfall.
Everyone who is near you ain’t here for you. We’ve all got that one silent envious “friend” who thrives on your misery. They’ll pretend to have your back but secretly enjoy your miserable state. God knows it’s hard enough to weed these great pretenders out of your life already. Let’s not make it any more easier for them to dig perceived dirt up on you.
3) If you wish to salvage any type of relationship with your ex, just don’t do it.
Never allow your rage to speak on your behalf. When you do so, you will often end up apologizing later on down the line for things said and done in anger. Some people are capable of being friends with their ex, or at least remaining cordial. Badmouthing them and spilling all of the details about your relationship won’t help with that. Not all people are bad; some just are not the best for you.
Cynthia Bailey had every opportunity to drag Peter Thomas and so did he. But so far, the two have opted not to allow their separation to become messy.
Kudos to them both for taking the high road.