Labor Day may traditionally mark the last 24 hours you can tastefully wear white, but for those looking to enter into a serious relationship for “cuffing season”—the fall and winter months when singles often prefer to transition from playful courtship into an exclusive partnership—the holiday means the start of the “hard work” season. According to U.S. Census statistics, approximately 44 percent of Americans are single. And although single women outnumber their male counterparts, studies have shown that 95 percent of all American adults express the desire to eventually marry and cite “love” as the primary motivation for legal unions.
So how does all this research impact your chance for cool-weather romance? Quite simply, it lets you know the odds are in your favor to meet that flawless (ha!) individual who is seeking his or her perfect complement—especially for the soup-sipping months.
While the notion that relegating the search for serious companionship to the end of the year may seem absurd, there is something to it. In the summer there are more opportunities, from day parties to weekend jaunts, that statistically increase the chances of encountering new people.
This changes with the coming of winter. Schlepping through three-inch puddles or snow piles to hit any kind of event lacks appeal, particularly when the prospect of meeting a potential mate has decreased with the temperature. Even our fantasies change. Daydreams of frolicking down Main Street in Buppieville and bumping into a bevy of cuties are replaced with images of sharing whipped cream-topped cocoa or a home-cooked meal served by “the one.”
Now’s the optimal time to set result-centered goals if you’re looking to cuff a winner. Whittling down your options from “playthings” to “bae things” is an attainable objective for the next few weeks. And if you’ve been slacking, get ready to add “bae watch” time to your weekly schedule. Here are eight dos and don’ts to help you on your hunt.
1. Do apply a full-court press.
Some studies say women are very attracted to men who appear distinguished or mature, and men love it when women smile. If you’re looking to attract the opposite sex, step up your game; the first impression is visual, but you actually must engage in conversation.
2. Don’t think you shouldn’t feel a spark.
When it comes to relationships, chemistry is like money: having it isn’t everything but not having it is. Still, when vetting your potential “next,” don’t mine solely for an explosive connection; also pay attention to flickers. Why spend a snow day tucked under the covers with someone whose voice grates on your ears? Remember, there is something even bigger than the jolt of heat brought on by the object of your affection: compatibility.
3. Do more than look sharp; be sharp.
Reconnect with your personal interests so you can discuss topical things you sincerely enjoy. Be clear that this is a competition. You are up against an unknown opponent who has groomed his or her best self. Nurturing your physical and mental health secures your personal happiness, which positively impacts how you look and feel.
Read more in the September 2015 issue of EBONY Magazine.
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S. Tia Brown
Licensed Therapist & Coach