Orgasm has been a heated topic of discussion these past few weeks, and coming fresh out of National Masturbation Month the conversations just keep on going. Last month I spoke about the importance of women embracing the erotic pleasure of orgasm, but it seems that I’m not the only Black woman who isn’t afraid to agree out loud. In a very open interview with Cosmopolitan, Nicki Minaj raised her hand as an advocate for female orgasm. “I demand that I climax,” the Pinkprint lyricist says. “I think women should demand that.”
It’s a biological fact that any healthy man turned on and engaged in sexual activity will have an orgasm every time he has sex, whether it be solo or with a partner. Women, on the other hand, aren’t so lucky. Studies have shown that 75% of women do not orgasm regularly from vaginal sex and need more than penetration to reach a climax.
“I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life,” Minaj emphasizes. “It hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me.” She goes on to tell Cosmo about the orgasm interventions she has with her friend to teach her how to “get hers”—as any advocate for female orgasm would do. “We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this…”
Nicki is right when she suggests women need to be on top to experience an orgasm. Riding in cowgirl position has been proven to do just the thing. With both partner’s pelvises positioned so closely in this position, the clitoris is able to be stimulated during penetration, providing double stimulation for the woman on top. G-spot stimulation is also accessible in cowgirl when positioned correctly, and hitting this spot has been proven to create “squirting orgasms.”
Nicki’s sexual intervention with her friend is actually a great way for women to become educated about how to receive sexual pleasure more adequately. Sex is always a topic of discussion when girlfriends get together, and using role-play is a lighthearted way to show positioning and movements that work for reaching orgasm. Consider it your own version of sex education and just have fun with it! Pour up some drinks, bring out your best sex stories and get ready for a great time of learning and entertainment.
Granted, different positioning will work for each woman depending on her anatomy and that of her partner. But having the support of sex-positive friends to suggest effective techniques is a healthy form of encouragement for a less than satisfying sex life.
Being on top requires a woman to be willing and ready to put in work; it’s not a position for the faint at heart. Core strength, lower body strength and knowledge of how to position oneself while performing are essential in a position that can equally satisfy both partners. “I’m a pleaser, but it’s 50-50,” Minaj explains about her sex life.
It seems the booty-blessed MC is well aware of the importance of both partners getting the most out of their sexual experiences. And if being a pleasure and demanding her satisfaction works for Nicki Minaj, it can certainly work for the average woman all the same. Kudos to Nicki for being a sex-positive advocate.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.glamerotica101.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.