If we are being real, we know way too many people–that is, if we are not one of them–who are in unhealthy relationships. They stay in the name of love but are hella miserable. And if you ask me, life is way too short to be unhappy.
Many people have this misconception that real love is not only earned, but in the most ridiculously painful of ways. It is as if the more someone puts you through hell, the stronger your bond.
That isn’t love; it’s dysfunction.
Many of us (myself included) need to be reminded of what healthy Black love looks like. It isn’t someone putting you through hell. It isn’t someone who is making you pay for the sins of another by forcing you to break down their walls of pain built by fear. Healthy love isn’t a back-and-forth type of struggle for power or a tie to the dysfunction disguised as “chemistry” and/or a “connection.”
On the contrary, healthy love is given freely and willingly to the one who deserves it. Everyone may deserve love, but that doesn’t mean they deserve your love. In order to get to a place of loving someone willingly and unrestricted, you must develop a relationship with your intuition. It is what you should trust (next to the Creator) to guide you. Now back to what healthy love looks like.
1. Healthy Black love is trusting.
When you are engaged in a relationship that is healthy, you are so in tuned with your intuition that you know who you are and whom to trust. Trust is healthy in a relationship, and it brings the two of you closer.
2. Healthy Black love is compassionate.
When you truly love someone, you seek to understand your mate. Instead of arguing or setting out to prove a point, you prioritize understanding your partner’s point of view in an effort to come to a solution.
3. Healthy Black love is genuine.
When you really care for someone, you do not become obsessed with keeping tabs. You genuinely want to see your mate win in life, and there is no unhealthy competition. Healthy Black love is simply real … and it’s pure with no motives that are motivated by self-gain.