When you love someone, the last thing you want to do is imagine life without them. You have a history of memories, experiences and even children in some cases that make you want to “stay and work it out.”
But sometimes, no matter how much you may truly love someone, it’s simply best to cut ties. Here are seven ways to tell if you need to look for the nearest exit sign in your relationship.
1) You fight all of the time.
While it’s very normal to have the occasional disagreement, hosting regular screaming matches with your significant other is not. If you find yourself arguing more than hugging, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.
2) You are staying together “for the kids.”
There’s nothing worse than staying in a relationship because you want your children to grow up in a two-parent home. While it’s great to have both parents under one roof, listening to them argue and observing how miserable they are is not. What’s more important than your kids seeing you together everyday is seeing you happy. If not, your dysfunction will do more harm than good.
3) You look at your mate and feel no spark.
You’re no longer in love. You have no passion and your mate seems more like a roommate than a life partner. It may be time to bounce. While every relationship goes through its ebbs and flows, you should never look at you mate and feel …blah.
4) He or she is a “good man” or “good woman.”
There are tons of great people in the world; that doesn’t mean you should be with them. Entering a relationship with someone simply because they’re a good man or woman isn’t ever a wise thing to do. Sure, you may land a “wonderful mate,” but you may end up wishing he or she was someone else. Your significant other doesn’t deserve to be with someone who is thinking, “If only ___ treated me this way.”
5) Your family and friends pressured you into a relationship.
We are all influenced by someone. To what degree we allow our decisions to be based on the opinions of other people depends on us. If you are with someone simply because your family and friends believe you should be, you’re doing love all wrong. While our loved ones can often see characteristics in our mates that we cannot see objectively, deciding to commit to someone should solely be your decision.
6) Physical, verbal and mental abuse is a staple in your union.
His punches have become the norm. Her slaps are served as often as you brush your teeth in the morning. Curse words and foul language directed at each other is a given …so much to the point where you start to believe that this is how it’s supposed to be. If you’ve become accustomed to any type of abuse from your mate, understand that this is not the way to live and direct yourself to the nearest exit ASAP.
7) You actually want to leave.
Often, we receive subtle signs that we should not be with someone, but ignore them for a number of reasons. If you are feeling like you want to leave more than stay, then perhaps you are ignoring your intuition. Don’t.
Shantell E. Jamison is a senior editor for EBONY. She moderates various events centered on love, relationships, politics and wellness and has appeared on panels throughout the country. Her book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction” is available now. Keep up with Shantell via her website, Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.
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