1. After a week of online flirting, you’re about to have your first coffee date. On the way there, you think:
‘If this goes well, I’ll have a hot date for my class reunion.’
‘Better pack a condom, just in case.’
‘I’ll bring that DVD (s)he wants to check out.’
‘I’m meeting my soul mate!’
2. (S)He tells you a dirty joke but flubs the punch line. You:
Jump in with the actual line and score points.
Up the ante with a racier joke and hope your sexual banter yields bedroom benefits.
Ignore the screwup and share a genuine laugh.
Head to the restroom to release some tension. (S)He makes you crazy with that horndog humor!
3. Headed out of town for a bit, (s)he texts “TTFN” (Ta ta for now). You reply:
“Call me when you get there.”
“There’s time for a quickie before you go.”
“Don’t worry about your cat. She’ll be fine here with me.”
“I’ll be miserable without you.” (Then you hook up with your crazy ex.)
4. (S)He’s up-loaded new Facebook photos. Clicking through them, you:
Search for scenes that feature you and fantasize about appearing in those that don’t.
Check out the beach shots and all the sexy skin (s)he’s showing.
Get a warm feeling as you recognize the people (s)he’s told you about.
5. (S)He’s had too many drinks at the party. You say:
“I love your free spirit. You bring out my wild side.”
“The party’s just starting. Let’s go to my place.”
“You had four shots of tequila. I’m concerned.”
“I’ve just made a new friend I’d like you to meet. Let’s all head to the hotel where I’ve booked a fantasy suite.”
SCORING: Mostly A: Infatuation occurs when the person you’re attracted to matches what you’re looking for in a partner on the surface, says Lesli M. W. Doares, M.S., LMFT, a marriage therapist. But realize that it’s not really about him or her. It’s all about you.
Mostly B: Lust tends to be sexual, intense and biologically driven. It comes on quickly and typically won’t be long-lasting, says Karen Sherman, Ph.D., psychologist, author and professor. Ask yourself how much you really know about your object of desire except how he or she self-expresses physically, in dress, demeanor, etc. You want to get close to him or her, but it’s still all about you.
Mostly C: Love. You get to know him or her as a person. When your wants and needs are different from his or hers and you’re willing to make room for those in your life, it’s truly about the two of you.
Mostly D: Addiction to sex or love may be a factor when the preoccupation with another interferes with key aspects of life and work. Only a trained counselor or sex therapist can pinpoint whether there’s a problem.
To read more, pick up the March issue of EBONY on stands now!