We have all heard of the basic explanations for a man’s infidelity. My favorite one, and perhaps the most absurd one is, “He is a man.”
It’s as if his genetic structure makes him incapable of controlling himself. Yeah …
But let’s trade places for a moment and consider why statistically, women are grabbing their own “side pieces” more now than in the past. Ladies my goal is not to be out here exposing all of our trade secrets. I am here to simply inform and highlight things about women that men deem impossible.
The ironic stigma is that the blood that pumps through our veins is somehow more chaste and paired with unceasing loyalty. We are capable of wrongdoing and in search of being whole beings. Some of these reasons in my opinion are just as absurd as the male excuses, but we are going to investigate them together. Here are six.
1) Women are earning their own living.
Since WWII, women of all races had to support and earn supplemental income while their men were away at war. When the men returned, some women did not want to go back to their prior home life. They wanted to help out and feel empowered. These women got a manicure if they chose to without permission. They bought that dress or the book they wanted without insurrection. This was probably around the time when the concept of retail therapy was created. I am sure we can all relate to the joy you feel when making a good purchase.
But this was the start of the struggle for some.
However, there are other women who never knew a life that lacked work. These women viewed employment as a necessity for survival and not a new surge of confidence. They had to work. When a woman plays a dominant role in her life, she is known as an Alpha woman. It doesn’t matter if she has a man or not. Her strong personality traits may increase her palette for certain things. In turn, she realizes that she doesn’t have to live a simple and traditional life. She simply does what she wants.
2) The sugar momma …
Here is a scenario. You have a woman who is the primary breadwinner in her home. Her mate may work, but the burden of financial responsibility rests firmly on her shoulders. This lady feels strong, responsible and is dominant in her household. Given this type of situation maybe she wants to feel less responsible, softer and just simply catered to in a way that her mate cannot provide. Since her mate is not providing her with the space to feel this way, she may find a man, typically on accident, who manifests the beta frequencies in her soul that have been buried by the increased burden of fiscal entitlement. But she will not leave her mate simply because he doesn’t make as money much as she does, so she cheats.
3) She’s the woman who settled down too early.
This woman has married or settled into a relationship before the age of discovery. Perhaps, her and her lover were high school sweethearts or grew up together. They are the couple of your dreams and their love is everlasting. She’s been with the same man since before she could mix her own cocktail. The relationship may not have grown stale in all areas, but the last time she dated, there was no online dating, no Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. This woman meets several men and denies them. She is dedicated to her life-long lover until she meets her ideal man. You know, the one that is an exact replica of the man she dreamed of at 6 years old. So she cheats.
4) She isn’t quite ready to end the relationship, but is out for revenge due to his infidelity.
She is not ready to leave this guy, but has yet to address or deal with the heartbreak of his infidelity. Perhaps this is not the first time he has done this to her. Instead of her crying in her pillow and listening to Mary J’s “Not Gon Cry,” she makes a phone call to her male friend, coworker and/or ex. After all, she is a woman and she has options. That phone call sets in motion a chain of events that leads her into the arms of another man. She simply has an affair out of revenge and a struggle with forgiving—but not leaving—her unfaithful mate.
5) She feels unappreciated by her man.
This woman’s mate is probably uninspired by life. It is as if he’s reached a plateau and has just stopped trying. She remembers the “good times” when dates were plentiful and her home smelled of fresh roses. She has not changed, but he has for the worse. He gives her no warm feelings and everything she does is either ignored or nitpicked by him. They are actively going through the motions. In her mind, she does everything in her power to keep him happy, but he doesn’t seem to notice. To avoid the feeling of being dead inside, she moves around, entertains a few suitors and has her “fun” all while hoping he will wake back up.
6) She’s just plain greedy.
This is the woman who likes the safety or being in a relationship, but also the thrill of being with someone else. Her man makes enough money, he is faithful and she is not vengeful. He satisfies her, she just likes some outside loving every now and then.
Cheating on your mate is a clear indication that open communication is not at play in your relationship. If you are not being cared for in the way that you desire, say so. If he isn’t the right person for you leave. Either way, lurking in the shadows with your side boo is not freedom and it causes much more harm than good.
Laura Miller is the founder of The SistaGurl Blog which she uses to empower women to be their true selves; Confident, Strong, Honest, and most of all POWERFUL. She is an official media correspondent for The Six Brown Chicks and continues to utilize her empathetic nature as a tool to help and inspire the masses.