My bed broke a few months ago, but that did not stop my lover and I from getting it in. What was once an elevated platform bed has been transformed into a low, stable sleigh bed because we were not stopping until the cops came knocking. This made me think that maybe we should look into alternative places to get nasty, because breaking furniture in the home can get costly.
There’s a certain thrill many people experience when they have sex in new, unfamiliar, and occasionally public places. You have to remember to be careful in some situations; you don’t want to end up in hot water.
Here are a few recommendations for places where you can take your freak show on the road.
Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
My all-time favorite place to have sex outside of my own bed is at a hotel. For many people, especially those who travel or have long-distance relationships, hotel sex is everything! Not only do you not have to worry about cleaning up after yourselves (“housekeeping!”), you can get as loud as you want and never have to see your “neighbors” again.
Try visiting a hotel you have never been to before, either locally or in a different town/city. Add a touch of role play and have your lover meet you there; pretend you’re strangers who link up while traveling on business. To add extra “ambiance,” try going to a local short-stay, “hot sheet” motel and add a bit of sleazy kink to the session. (This is one of my personal favorites. It definitely brings out something totally different in me, and it is all good!)
Doing It in the Park, Doing It After Dark
Weather permitting, being one with nature can have a whole new meaning. A romantic stroll in your local park can turn into a sexy impromptu session. The exhibitionists out there know that having sex in public spaces is often amplified by the exciting risk-of-getting-caught thrill. You want to make sure you’re as hidden as possible, so I recommend either going deep into a wooded area or waiting until late at night when you can be cloaked in darkness. One of you should be the designated look out. The last thing you need is a fine or worse—having to explain to your boss or family why you spent a night in jail.
Box Office Surprise!
The price of movie tickets has gone up, and going to the movies can seem like a financial burden for some, so why not make the most of the trip? You might be tempted to check out a romantic movie, but I recommend an action movie with a lot of sound effects. You’ll need background noise to mask the sounds you can’t help but make.
Get there early so you can slide to the back of the theater, preferably in the corner. An early matinee or the last showing are optimal, and you’ll want to opt out of opening weekends to avoid huge crowds. Depending on how the situation plays out, you can get away with anything from a hand-job to seated reverse cowgirl. There will be more popping in the theater than corn, for sure.
If you pay close enough attention, you’ll spot some pretty raunchy things taking place on the average club dance floor. People can be quite creative, and you never really know what’s happening under the skirt of that woman grinding on that man, do you? Another place people like to get down is in the bathroom; you may have even walked in on two strangers becoming more familiar with each other. These days, more and more clubs have single-stall unisex bathrooms, so if you time things well, your lover can sneak into the bathroom right after you and you have about five to seven minutes before people get suspicious.
You can do a lot in that time, but I recommend getting right to the point. Don’t waste time kissing softly when you can do that outside in public view—get right to the nasty. If there’s a mirror, you can both look into it and get in some backshot action. Don’t forget that the sink makes a great prop too. (Just remember to wipe it down before and after you get busy.)
I have to throw in one final honorable mention: taxi head might sound cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting. You may not think you need to hail a cab, but it might be worth it to spice things up. Make sure you give an address easy enough for the driver to find, so you’re not interrupted. If you’re the giver, try not to bob your head up too high or slurp too loud. If you’re the receiver, try not to moan too loud, or else you’ll draw the attention of the driver.
This isn’t supposed to go on for a long time; a hit-and-quit quickie is sufficient as foreplay or to ease the tension after a long day. Don’t forget to adjust your clothing before leaving. You don’t want to have to make a taxicab confession for real.
Again, there are some risks to trying these locations, but that’s all part of the fun. Take all precautions and be safe while stepping outside of your bedroom comfort zone. Just think of new locations at setting the stage for the next acts in your sex life!
Feminista Jones is a sex-positive Black feminist, social worker and blogger from New York City. She writes about gender, race, politics, mental health and sexuality at FeministaJones.com. Follow her on Twitter at @FeministaJones.