We’ve only been married for just under two years and we’re getting ready to move for the third time. We were finally starting to settle from moving in July, but we’re gearing up for another bump. This moment has come full circle. We started this column last year while still in our native New York City, unaware that a drastic change would be ushered into our lives due to relocation.
As diehard New Yorkers, we never imagined moving from the New York City area, so imagine our surprise when we ended up in Chicago. The move came at a good time. We were both tired of New York (especially our industry), and then Mr. Rocque found a new opportunity that sounded good.
While in Chicago, we hit more peaks and valleys that tested us in ways we didn’t expect. We dealt with him working a lot and trying to balance our couple time, which we didn’t get much of, and there was also a lot of isolation. With no family or social network out here, things felt like we were treading in the middle of the ocean, waiting for a raft to float by. Eventually my depression set in, which made our situation worse.
For me, it was a struggle to actually do anything, and Mr. Rocque became stressed out to the point of high blood pressure because I wasn’t happy. It was brutal, but the blessing is that we both started going to therapy (individually and together), which has helped me manage my moods better than I have been. And as a couple, we learned how to communicate with each other more effectively. Initially we thought we were already good communicators, but therapy taught us we still had a lot to learn about each other, which turned out to be an amazing discovery.
One of the best blessings that came out of living in Chicago was, we set a solid foundation for our relationship without distractions. But our time in the Windy City is coming to a close. We’re headed back to New York, and had it not been for Mr. Rocque’s job here, he wouldn’t have landed the position that’s bringing us home.
In hindsight, we struggled here in Chicago. But our time here, even with all the ups and downs, wasn’t so bad after all. I’m thankful for the growth we’ve both experienced, even though getting to that place of contentment is rough for impatient people like me. Still, I’m still learning and evolving, just in time for me to get back into the rush of the concrete jungle. I had a hard time finding work out here because of location, which frustrated me at first. But once I accepted my circumstances, I realized that I actually needed a break, and got the chance to relax, regroup and refocus.
Now that a new chapter is about to start, I have a feeling that at some point I’m going to look back on my downtime and wish I’d more of it, so I’ll take the lesson in gratitude and relax (for now).
I’m excited about what’s to come for us as 2013 comes to a close, and thankful for the experiences that I’ve had over the past couple years. In closing, this is our last post for EBONY.com, but we thank you for allowing us to share our newlywed life with you, and for all the comments, tweets, and shared reader experiences.
Mr. and Mrs. Rocque are the couple formerly known as Anslem Samuel and Starrene Rhett, journalists who found love in between bylines. Follow the newlyweds’ musings of a marriage in progress here, on Twitter and via their joint blog.