Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them and they unconsciously fuel a lot of our sex lives. These fleeting dreams of sexual encounters almost always feature a sexual act that doesn’t manifest in one’s typical “heated moments.” Yet and still, there’s always a glimmer of hope lingering in the mind with anticipation of one day fulfilling those naughtiest of desires. Sexual fantasies intrigue every person at any level of sexual experience, from the novice to the sexually liberated.
In the spirit of learning more about which fantasies are most common, the Université du Québec and the Philippe-Pinel Institute of Montreal conducted a study of the most common sexual fantasies. Whether yours fall within these top five or just outside of them, here are the top five sexual fantasies favorited by men… and how to achieve them!
1. Sex Accompanied with Romance
It’s hard to believe, but of all the men polled, an astounding 88.3% admitted that their top sexual fantasy involved feelings of romance and romantic places. Men are stereotypically ready for sex within minutes with no need for ambiance. But in an ideal sexual experience, it’s apparent that men also want to feel a connection during sexual experiences.
If a romantic encounter is what you’re after, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. (Because if romance is a fantasy, it means you’re not experiencing it in your regular sex life.) Women often rely on men to set the mood in sexual situations, so why not play Casanova, even if for only a night? Bust out the candles; bring out the bubble bath and bath salts; even surprise her with a sexy piece of lingerie that makes her look edible.
Bringing a fantasy to life is all about the small details, and in creating a romantic scenario, every detail matters. The atmosphere of the room should be one of comfort with a controlled temperature (on the warmer side) and mood lighting. All of the other dressings are up to you. Whether you decide to sip on champagne while enjoying typical aphrodisiac foods or start out the experience by seducing your lady, the goal is to fulfill the fantasy of romance.
2. Receiving Oral Sex
Another 87.6 percent of men agree that oral sex ranks as the second most thought about fantasy, according to the Canadian study. For many women, going down south can be quite intimidating, especially when a great number of men have high expectations from watching their favorite adult film starlets devour their partner’s members like lunch meat on wheat.
To make your fantasies a reality, begin by talking with your partner about her hang-ups around performing oral sex (if any). If her main concern is the fear of being judged harshly or shamed because of her behavior, ensure her that the act is something you’d really enjoy, and that the sexual situation is one of non-judgment.
Also, turn fellatio into an intimate moment. Many women live in fear of being labeled negatively for wanting to pleasure their mates orally. But if you can secure her security and trust, she’ll be willing to at least attempt to give you what you desire. If her hang up is about lack of skill, offer to teach her in a fun way. You can turn the experience into a game of role-playing, where you’re the professor and she’s your student. If role-playing isn’t your cup of tea, then secure her trust and make her feel comfortable with the idea of going down.
Do not force her head onto your penis or use dirty words that would make her feel less than. Instead, use encouraging words that motivate her to keep going when she does something right, and ask permission to guide her to the right spots when she’s performing in a pleasurable way. Remember, to fulfill your fantasy, you must make her feel as comfortable as possible.
3. Having Sex With Two Women
Seeing two beautiful women pleasure each other while wanting to arouse and satisfy his manhood comes in at number three of the average man’s top five fantasies (at 84.5 percent). Having a threesome is the most spoken about male sexual fantasy there is, maybe because there’s no fantasy more difficult to fulfill with a female partner—especially when she’s heterosexual and hasn’t expressed an interest in women.
It can become pretty difficult to fulfill this sexual fantasy, but all is not lost. The key in this situation is to make your partner feel in control and secure about bringing another woman into the equation. Most women will feel as if their sexual skills aren’t good enough to satisfy you if you mention bringing another woman into the equation. But by turning the experience into a game, ensuring your commitment and loyalty and giving her the power to set the rules and choose the woman involved, you can fulfill your fantasy with less stress.
4. Extramarital Sex
This is an extremely taboo fantasy, but 83.4 percent of the men polled admitted that having sex with a woman who wasn’t their committed partner is one of the top five sexual fantasies. However, infidelity and betraying a partner’s trust is something that should never be promoted or for the safe of the health of a relationship. If having sex with someone outside of a wife or significant other is what you desire, the threesome route is best.
5. Sex in an Unusual Place
Coming in at number five (with 82.3 percent of men in agreement) is the fantasy of having sex in an unusual place. Whether it’s a car, a public bathroom, a beachfront or a park bench, many men have the desire to get it on in a place outside of the typical household setting. To fulfill this fantasy, you must be willing to ensure your partner of her safety while having sex in a place that may not be so secure. The idea of being caught by a stranger or by the cops may turn you on, but it may also cause anxiety within your partner and cause the sexual experience to go south.
Talk about potential places to have sex before making the decision to fulfill the fantasy and choose times where the area isn’t as heavily populated. By ensuring her safety first and disclosing the benefits of sex in a new place, you’ll have a partner ready to ride like the Bonnie to your daredevil Clyde.
Fulfilling sexual fantasies is all about establishing trust and intimacy, but most importantly, it’s all about having fun. The activities engaged in during the fulfillment of a fantasy may not be everyday interactions, but they’ll keep the relationship spontaneous and interesting. Open communication, trust and honesty will get you far in the pursuit of making your fantasies a reality.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.glamerotica101.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.