Being single and sexy has its perks—until you get exhausted from spending too much time with yourself. David Castain knows the feeling. The 28-year-old Washington, D.C., marketing firm owner is single but has reached the point in his life where, after a two-year dating hiatus, he is finally ready to look for love again, “In my last relationship, I was with a woman I’d met in college. We began seeing each other once we graduated, and everything moved very quickly,” he tells EBONY. “It went from dating to talks of marriage within six months. I wasn’t ready for that. I also felt like a place filler; she was ready to be married, and I was just in the right place at the right time.” When the relationship ended, Castain elected to take himself off the market to focus on building his career. And as the seasons have changed, so has his position on love. “Now, my business is flourishing and I’m a lot more stable. I completed my master’s program and have much more free time. I’m ready to try it again.”
According to the Pew Research Center, approximately 36 percent of Black men ages 25 and older have never been married. And despite the urban legend of the perpetual Black bachelor, both men and women (stats indicate that 35 percent of Black women ages 25 and older are in the same boat) are actively searching.
So what’s getting in our way? We all know dating isn’t always fun. It can be pricey, disappointing and sometimes even downright dangerous. So jumping back into the dating pool after being off the market for a while can be quite challenging. Whether it’s the individual who’s changed—hopefully after taking time to evaluate his or her needs—or the market, it’s important to revamp your approach, particularly if you’ve been living the single life for more than a year.