It never fails. Every week I get at least three letters sent from men in different parts of the world complaining about their penis size and how dissatisfied they are. “Tyomi, I am in dire need! Can you please tell me how to make it bigger?”

Every letter starts off or ends with this type of desperation seeping through every word, and it never ceases to intrigue me just how uneducated many men are about their genitals. “Is there a cream or pill I can use to increase my size?” “Can you help? I know I’m good in bed, but I wish I was bigger.” “I’m 7.5 inches. Is that a small size?”

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I hear these types of questions so regularly that it leads me down a path of repetitive speeches about why and how size matters. I even made a YouTube video for men around the world to understand the answer to this age old question. Does size really matter? Yes it does, but it’s not so much about why size matters but how it matters.

Before getting into how size matters, it’s important to give a basic anatomy lesson for those who may have been failed high school biology or forgotten those lessons back in freshman year. We all may bleed red, but our bodies are not created equal. Genitals are as varied as skin complexions, even within the African-American community. No penis is created equally, and neither is any vagina, so this should tell you there must be some variation in size for parts to fit together.

So how does size matter?

When it comes to having greater sex, the genitals must fit together like puzzle pieces. If a man is well endowed, he must be paired with a woman who has a vagina that can accommodate his size. Yes, vaginas are very elastic and can mold to fit the shape of whatever’s placed into it (or out of it, such as another human being). But they too have a limited amount of width and depth before hitting the cervix that leads to the uterus.

If a woman has a narrow, shorter vagina, being with a man who’s long and wide will destroy her precious flower. Sexual performance for this type of mismatched couple will not feel great for either partner, and both will leave their sexual experience with a bit of his/her ego bruised (not to mention genital bruising). Just as puzzle pieces must fit together perfectly for the masterpiece picture to become clear, genitals must fit together perfectly for sex to be harmonious.

How does size affect sexual performance?

When sprockets and cogs are assembled in a machine, each piece has a specific function and movement that correlates to another piece made to fit inside of it. If these pieces didn’t fit perfectly together, the machine would malfunction and create problems and delays in production. This same concept applies to sexual performance.

When the genitals are not paired up correctly according to their size, sex can become awkward and uncomfortable. Typically, those who complain about sex being uncomfortable have had experiences with partners who didn’t fit them properly, and it’s unfortunate, because a lack of education about this very thing leads people to believe they’re simply sexual misfits.

The truth is, everyone has the capacity to perform well sexually, but one must be educated about sexual anatomy and sexual performance to reach optimal performance. A woman with a smaller vagina may believe she wants to be paired with a man who’s long and has girth. But once in the act, she can experience tearing and bruising of the vaginal opening and vaginal walls because her partner is forcing a large pole into a small hole.

The only way both partners are going to be able to switch into different positions and perform well in them is by knowing the size and shape of their own genitals and what fits before entering into a sexual encounter.

How can one tell genital size without seeing the genitals?

Taoist matchmakers in China have had an understanding for centuries that great relationships are rooted in a great sex life, so when pairing couples together, they made it a necessity to pair men and women together according to their genital sizes. The Chinesee understood that genitals that fit together perfectly would produce great sexual experiences, and so they developed a system to determine the size of genitals by using facial features and hands. (And believe me, this system is spot on.)

Believe it or not, a man’s thumb is a direct mirror of the shape and size of his penis. The length of a man’s penis is twice the length of his thumb; the shape and width of the base of the thumb is the shape of the shaft of the penis; and the tip of the thumb correlates to the shape of the penile head.

When it comes to women, a small mouth and short fingers correlates to a small, short vagina. A woman with big, thick lips is said to have a wide, thick vagina. There are a number of features that reveal genital size, and you can read more about them here.

So the answer to the age-old question of “does size matter?” is yes, it does! Size matters, but not in the way of being large and in charge. Size matters in the aspect of being able to fit perfectly with your partner to perform in an experience you will never forget Be confident in what you have, because someone, somewhere out there was created to fit with you exactly as you are.