Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. Follow Michael @youngsinick.

1. Ain’t No Pride There, Bih: According to a new CNN/ORC poll, 57% of Americans see the confederate flag more as a symbol of Southern pride than as a symbol of racism. This is roughly on par with a poll take 15 years ago, where 59% said they saw the flag as a symbol or pride. So, here’s the problem with polls like these: In a majority white country, does it matter what a symbol of racism means to folks it doesn’t apply to?

All this poll does is highlight that many white people are so self-involved that they can’t be bothered to realize that flag may mean far nefarious things to the people whose slaved labor made this country into what it is. Then again, it also highlights how ill informed Americans are about their own history. To that end, I care not what the majority makes of their ugly symbol of pride. It’s still wrong. I will note, though, that 72% of Blacks see the flag as a symbol of racism. The rest of that 28% can get the hell on.

2. Please Let Go, Let Gays Get Their Weddings On, Piyush: With his star fading and excitement over his presidential campaign on par with free samples of pork fried rice outside of a mosque, Louisiana governor “Bobby” Jindal is continuing his pandering to ultra conservatives by way of refusing to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. Yes, despite the Supreme Court ruling that dictates that me and my Creole man can get married in New Orleans with Anita Baker singing “Angel” as I two step down the aisle. You see, Jindal claims he’s waiting for the appeals court order before recognizing the marriage. Well, he got one, and now he wants to wait for another procedural step.

In his mind, Jindal likely thinks these antics will make him appealing to other like-minded bigots who don’t know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. However, the crowded clown car that is the GOP presidential primary is full of other people pandering to these same bigots. Some just have the luxury of not being in the position to challenge the law. “Bobby,” you’re a loser on this and you’re a loser with respect to your campaign. Let it go already.

3. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect A Damn Dollar: The kin to the man accused of killing nine people at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina has launched a Go Fund Me page to cover the costs of her wedding. Dylann Roof’s sister, Amber Roof, is asking for $5,000 to “cover lost wedding costs, to pay bills, and to send us on our dream honeymoon.” Amber’s wedding plans went in smoke when her awful human being of a brother committed his heinous act. She has pledged 10 percent of the money raised will go to the church. Yeah, not only does she have the nerve to ask for money, she offered a tithe to the church.

It’s not her fault her brother is an evil, cowardly boil on the butt of humanity, but she’s also out of her rabbit ass mind thinking now is the time to be collecting donations for a wedding. Girl, you better get married at the justice of the peace and find some backyard to turn out. And only 10% of donations? Go away. Forever.

4. Whatever, Amy: In response to criticism that comedian Amy Schumer’s “stand-up repeatedly delves into racial territory tactlessly and with no apparent larger point,” she turned to Twitter to cry victim. She defiantly said she knows her jokes aren’t racism, but just funny? How does she know? Because other people laugh at her jokes. I imagine these people are mostly white, so yes, it’s not surprising to hear her stupid jokes about Mexican men make people laugh. That doesn’t make it any less racist, though.

Also, hardy har at this declaration: “Stick with me and trust that I am joking. Trust me. I am not a racist. I am a devout feminist and lover of all people.”

There are plenty of racist feminists. Just like there are plenty of racist gay rights activists. I don’t know why deluded people like this act as though they are trailblazing when they are making dense jokes about race and racism. Sure, PC culture ruins comedy at times, but be very clear: white people have always made minorities the butt of their jokes. Don’t act brand new.

5. Tyga’s Tiny Sales: First off: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Secondly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: Thirdly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Also: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA:

But seriously: To be fair to Tyga, he had a lot of label issues so him throwing his album out randomly one day on Spotify and then iTunes was not going to generate a big amount of sales. That said, I still want to mock him moving 2200 units in one week mostly because his relationship with his teenage girlfriend still creeps me the hell out. That entire family tweeted a link to their millions of followers on Twitter and well, you just read the figure.

So: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.