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GoFundMe

When my oldest sister got married in 2002, our middle sister made about being hungry and made the two of them late for the ceremony. When she got married in 2009, I had a back injury that forced me to wear an unflattering garment and was very dramatic about how folks photographed me as a result. Siblings have a way of stealing the spotlight from each other, and I look forward to whatever shenanigans they have planned if I ever get married.

However, if either of them decided to murder 9 people around the time of this ceremony (or even one person, to be honest,) I can't imagine that I would be overly concerned with how this may have impacted my big day.

Amber Roof, the sister of Dylann Roof, seems to have a different attitude. According to People, she created a GoFundMe campaign asking the world to help her have the ceremony and honeymoon she deserves, after her brother's horrific act forced her and her fiancee to postpone:

"Our wedding day was suppose[d] to be the most important and special day of our lives. It was suppose[d] to start our lives together with our new family. Our day was the exact opposite. Our wedding day was full of sorrow, pain, and shame, tainted by the actions of one man."



Someone, call the waaaambulance. There's more though:

"The Charleston Massacre took place and our lives were forever changed."

Changed, yes, but you didn't catch a round of bullets while attending Bible study and die, did you?

"The media abused our privacy and published all of our wedding information and destroyed our dream day. Destroying the first day of Michael and my life together."

The media does suck for doing this, yes. But if Sinead O'Connor was ripping up someone's picture on SNL right now, it would be your brother's, not Rupert Murdoch's.

"Money raised will be used to cover lost wedding costs, to pay bills, and to send us on our dream honeymoon. 10% of all funds raised will be donated to Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. We thank you for any [contribution] you can make."

Considering that the campaign was only asking for $5k to begin with, I'm just going to assume these two weren't going on a "dream honeymoon" before June 17th to begin with. If close friends and family members want to help her and her fiance recoup lost money and perhaps plan another celebration, then that should be private business. But a public GoFundMe is what we create for people like the families of the dead, not the entitled, insensitive and bratty sibling who doesn't realize just how awful this makes her look at a time where people are still wondering, "Did you know your brother was a monstrous White supremacist with a gun and decide to do nothing about it?"

This is PEAK White privilege: the idea that Amber's grief has any place in this narrative, and that the loss of her wedding day should matter to anyone outside of her immediate circle at this point. 

And that 10% of the proceeds were going to the victims' families is just pathetic. The irony here is that had she instead launched a campaign for the families only, businesses and individuals would have been likely tripping over themselves to reward her altruism (we have a pretty low bar when it comes to sympathizing with White women anyway, which is why plenty of folks on social media have defended her fundraiser; she'd be in line for the VP ticket if she'd thought to do this.)

I don't know enough about Dylann Roof's family to offer them any sympathy. Despite efforts to suggest that Dylann was the only bigot in South Carolina, and everyone else just wants to come together and heal the world, I'm not readily buying the idea that his hatred was born of a trip down the 'dark web' and not willing to dismiss the possibility that he learned some of his values at home. I won't assume either way, but I am clear that Amber is, if nothing else, being selfish and immature by thinking the world owes her a wedding when 9 people will never attend another one due to the actions of the waste of human matter that is her brother. 

 



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