Shade Brigade chris rock selfie driving while black

WhoSay

Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. Follow Michael @youngsinick.

 

1. Losing Isaiah: Chris Rock decided to post a selfie for the numerous times he had been pulled over by the police within the past seven weeks. In response, actor Isaiah Washington proceeded to tweet the comedian and offer a bit of advice: “I sold my $90,000.00 Mercedes G500 and bought 3 Prius’s, because I got tired of being pulled over by Police. #Adapt”

After solving white supremacy and institutionalized racism is less than 140 characters, Washington then proceeded to speak with African American History 101 dropout, Don Lemon. Washington explained: “There is something that is happening in his neighborhood—they [police] are looking for something. Obviously, they are not looking for Chis Rock. What I was doing was trying to excite a conversation. We are looking at this term ‘driving while Black,’ but maybe we should be looking at the term ‘Black’ itself and have a different conversation.”

No, I’m good with the conversation I’m having because regardless of whether or not I call myself “Black,” “Colored,” “Negro,” “African American,”  “Beyoncian,” chances are a racist gon’ racist – and it’s not me or people within my community who need to adapt.

2. No More Aaliyah Talk For You, T-Pain: T-Pain had a point when he argued that generally speaking, death typically inflates a person’s standing among those who knew them – especially if you’re famous. Even so, he shouldn’t have bothered responding to those who felt he was “unworthy” of using unheard Aaliyah vocals.

In a recent interview, T-Pain hit back with, “I’m not saying it’s Aaliyah because she’s passed, nobody is deserving. Nobody is good if she passed. If she was alive, then everybody would’ve been like, ‘She trying to be Beyoncé!’”

And now, T-Pain will be fielding death threats for the rest of his life as a result. Trust me. I wrote something nice about Aaliyah and the crazies stormed every social media app I had to try and let me have it for acknowledging that her third album was doing so-so (by the standards of the time) before she died.

3. Don’t Go Back, Karrueche: Thanks to nosy ass blogs, my similarly nosy self now realizes that Chris Brown is following Karrueche Tran on Instagram again and even back to leaving public comments under her pictures about how she is “killing it, kiddo.” If Tran were a friend of mine, I would politely say, “RUN. RUN LIKE HELL. LISTEN TO WHAT MAMA ODIE TOLD YOU ON OWN. RUN.”

But good luck, girl.

4. #TidalforALL or Nah?: I don’t have a problem with Jay Z launching a streaming service. This idea that one shouldn’t be so willing to help an already rich man get richer is a fruitless exercise. Just ask Apple. Or Walmart. Target. The owner of Popeye’s Chicken. I could go on, but y’all should get it by now.

That said, I don’t know what Hov and co. were thinking when they joined together on stage in their finest rich people attire to try to guilt trip consumers into thinking they need to support artistry as they pretentiously acted as if their new business venture was a “movement” and “revolution.” Such titles should only be allotted to those doing such work. To be fair, Jay Z’s subsequent interviews have been much better in terms of explaining the purpose of Tidal. If only he had decided to do those before that really ridiculous rollout about how paying $20 to listen to Rihanna as her producer intended was like taking a piss on the Berlin Wall as it crumbled on the heels of you smacking it down with your bare hands.

 

5. Don Lemon, Fashion Maven: In honor of Easter fashions, let us take a look at Don Lemon’s pants, presumably made by Miss Celie for Miss Celie’s Pants. I don’t know who all is responsible for this, but let me just say: thank you. I haven’t paid attention to April Fools jokes in forever, but my spirit is renewed. Blessings.



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