Shade Brigade kevin hart

Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. Follow Michael @youngsinick.

 

1. Kevin Hart Sounds Honest, Not Homophobic: When I saw the headline “Kevin Hart Won’t Play A Gay Character,” I was somewhat prepared to pounce. Such is life when you spend much of your time engulfed in the virtual Mortal Kombat known as online media. However, after actually watching the comedian’s interview with Power 105.1’s “The Breakfast Club,” I feel some people intentionally twisted his remarks.

On playing a gay role, Hart said, “I can’t. Not because I have any ill will or disrespect. Its because I don’t think I’m really going to dive into that role 100 percent because of insecurities about myself trying to play that part. Does that make sense?”



Yes. Hart is being frank about his own limitations for that role. It could change, but as of now, this is where he is. He would not be good at playing a gay guy. That’s fine. Lifetime isn’t good at making movies about dead Black singers, but at least Kevin Hart knows not to bother.

2. Go Home, Huckabee: Former Arkansas governor, Baptist minister, and perpetual mean girl Mike Huckabee is not backing off from his criticism of my lord and gyrator, Beyoncé, and the most famous political unit in the #Beyhive, the Obamas. On ABC’s This Week, Huckabee gave you Pat Robertson realness by claiming there is a “cultural divide” and “disconnect” between NY, Hollywood, D.C. and everywhere else that stops Obama’s kids from liking “wholesome” music. In other words, Huckabee is considering a run for the presidency so he is trying to energize the Christian right by playing sexual and racial politics with the hopes that this would help him fair well in GOP primaries.

Huckabee, you sexist, judgmental, contemptuous, relic: fall into the abyss. And for the record, God is obviously in the #Beyhive because duh.

3. Leave It Alone, Bobby: As much as I appreciate Bobby Brown the artiste, and Bobby Brown, the BBQ sauce and seasoning seller, I hope he stops talking about his ex-wife following that Remembering Whitney special for Lifetime. That movie was made from the left side of his brain, and while it’s never been fair that most people assumed Bobby Brown was the one who got Nippy hooked up on drugs, it’s clear we’re never going to get the real story. Whitney is gone, and Bobby, you’re helping me make quality oven-fried chicken in my shoebox apartment in Harlem. Let’s stop trying to drain from this well.

P.S. “Roni” is still better than most people. Same for “Thug Lovin’” and the Ghostbusters II theme. Go save Bobbi Kristina.

 

 

4. No More Ballads, Ciara: Okay, I realize that considering she let a man who calls himself Future knock her up and become his fourth or 14th baby mama, Ciara had a lot to get off her chest. Still, as shady as I’ve been to Ciara in the past, I still buy her albums (unlike y’all). That said, Ciara, NO MORE BALLADS. Beloved, we all have gifts and balladeering is not one of yours.

The new single isn’t bad per se, but who is really trying to hear a ballad from Ciara? I don’t mind heartbroken lyrics, but I wish they had been coupled with a beat I can shake my ass to. That next single better knock, girl. Tinashe is here.

5. Friendly reminder: No hate formed against Amber Rose shall prosper. And she was adorable in Light Girls. Let her live, internet.



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