1. Try Again, Amy Pascal: For starters, let’s stop describing what was revealed in the leak email exchange between Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal and producer Scott Rudin as “racially charged language” or “racially insensitive remarks.” It was racism of the casual sort. And in response, the exec is speaking out, telling The Hollywood Reporter that she is beginning the “healing process” by reaching out to Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
Let Pascal tell it, “I’m being proactive. And I want to accept responsibility for these stupid, callous remarks.” Uh, why aren’t you calling President Obama and Kevin Hart, Ms. Pascal? Those are the people you insulted. Then call your assistant to get you on some kind of racism be gone program. As far as being racist, she said, “I know it’s not true. And I know that doesn’t reflect who I am or what I feel or what I’ve done. That certainly doesn’t reflect this studio and what we’ve done here.”
Actually, you may not be burning crosses, Amy Pascal, but you are clearly harboring some racist sentiments. You proceeding to call the folks you think are the Pope and Prime Minister of Negroes says even more about you. But hey, God bless on that “healing,” sis. You can hire me, too.
2. Shut Up Forever, Geraldo Rivera: Consummate troll, unabashed racist, and geriatric thot Geraldo Rivera had some advice for LeBron James after spotting him in an “I Can’t Breath” shirt, which honors the life of Eric Garner and brings awareness to the issue of police brutality. During an appearance on Hannity, Rivera said, “I wondered to myself, what if LeBron James instead had a shirt, ‘Be a better father to your dad’ — I mean, ‘Be a better father to your son,’ ‘Raise your children.’ Those difficult issues are not being dealt with by the Black community because they are so complex, they are so deep-rooted, they are really so profoundly troubling that they don’t want to try.”
Eric Garner was a father of six when some white police officer with past accusations of civil rights violations strangled him to death. Michael Brown had a father and that had nothing to do with another police officer with a sordid professional past shooting him multiple times as he held his hands in the air. I could go, but that doesn’t matter because Geraldo Rivera does not value Black life; he would rather spend his time saying stupid things like “Trayvon Martin’s hoodie is partially to blame for his death.” Geraldo, you are an insufferable, incompetent, racist and assimilation-obsessed puppet for Rupert Murdoch. Why don’t you go take another old man sexy selfie and send it to Blanche Devereaux or somebody and leave Black people the hell alone.
3. Get Off The Prison Line, Apollo: Apollo Nida is back in jail, but that hasn’t stopped him from trying to get money put on his books by way of calling every tabloid known to man to 1) blast his estranged wife and the mother of his children, and 2) randomly talk about other reality stars he doesn’t know personality – like another future Real Housewives inmate, Teresa Guidice. My dude, your reign of cheap fame secured by your wife’s reality TV spot is over. Go lift some weights; read some books; meditate; earn a new degree.
4. Leave Us Alone, Chris Brown and Karrueche: Please stop live-tweeting your personal life. We don’t need to know. CC: Everyone else. And since I’m here, Karrueche, I hope you saved enough money to open up a Jamba Juice or something. God bless.
5. Don’t You Come ‘Round Here No More, Mitt Romney: Word on the lily white streets of K Street says that Mitt Romney is once again considering another presidential run. According to some Romney associates, he is unimpressed with the emerging GOP field. So is the rest of the country, Mitt-Mitt, but you’ve already lost two presidential bids and the third time would not be the charm for you, beloved. You may have the haircut of George Jetson, but you have the personality of Old Yeller after he was shot with the greed of a pre-three visits of ghosts on Christmas Eve Ebenezer Scrooge. It wasn’t hot in 2008, wasn’t that warm in 2012, and would be arctic-temps in 2016. Just go be rich.