A lot of us are walking around with an air of heaviness and hopelessness because we are not living the lives we really want or deserve.
But getting to where you want in life may not be as difficult as it seems when you are ready to do what it takes to get there. If you are ready to change but need some place to start, try the five tips below. They will get you in gear to live more in tune with your truth.
1. Become clear about what you want—not what somebody else wants.
One of the reasons you’re walking around without a sense of direction is because you are not sure about what you want. You are too busy consuming and ingesting the values, beliefs and perspectives of others. Your spirit gets overburdened, and your mind gets really cluttered when you’re carrying unnecessary baggage.
A cost-effective solution for clarity is to find a quiet place, be still and wait for answers to come. When your answers come, write them down and refer to them on a daily basis. This strategy is one that Mama Oprah uses—and we know what kind of results she’s produced with all that stillness and clarity.
2. Consider your mortality.
Sometimes I look at my 76-year-old mother and say to myself, “OMG! I don’t have as much time with this incredible woman as I used to.” Not to sound morbid, but that’s the reality. Luckily, if she were to leave me today, I would have no regrets about the time we spent together, the fights we had and the memories we created.
When it comes to your dreams, goals and aspirations, can you say the same? If you were to be gone tomorrow, would your song still be buried deep inside you?
3. Say “yes” now. Figure out the details later.
For a while, I knew I wanted to write for a living but had no connections, no clips and, really, no experience with media. But I didn’t let my ignorance and inexperience stop me. Instead, I took a chance. I wrote my first article, then pitched it to a local newspaper for publication.
They loved it, and I even got paid $50 for the piece. That one step led to a personal finance column that was seen by 30,000 people on a weekly basis. That one step was the start of a flourishing freelancing career. If I had decided to stay stuck, my love for personal finance and Black folk wouldn’t have a place to take root, and I would have been unable to inspire or motivate thousands of Black women as The Frugal Feminista to take control of their finances. It would have been a lose-lose situation all around.
4. Get out of debt.
Many of us are living at a fraction of our potential because of debt. The secret sauce to getting out of debt is obvious: Take extra money, and apply it to your outstanding balance. Consider brainstorming 50 ways you could save money, then another 50 ways you could generate more income. You don’t have to use all of the ideas, only the best ideas.
5. Get support.
One of the reasons you may not be living the life you want is because everyone around you is miserable. But it is really up to you to take control of your happiness. If you can’t find a happy wingman in your immediate circle, find one virtually.
When I was in search of a community that would support me as I moved from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, I looked online. One of my favorite online communities is Rosetta Thurman’s Happy Black Woman tribe. She provides a number of free and paid resources to help you start thinking differently about yourself and your life.