The idea of the Black man being a supreme lover with uncanny stamina and a mandingo-sized member to match doesn’t always translate into real life for the average Joe.

In fact, there are more men tapping out within 3 minutes of penetrative intercourse than many would like to admit.  And it’s evident why so many would keep their battles with premature ejaculation (PE) a secret.

It’s an ego killer and embarrassing for the man who has set high expectations for his sexual performance.  But there is no reason why any man should suffer through the frustrations of not being able to satisfy his lover within the timeframe she desires when there are techniques and programs he can use to remedy himself of PE.

If you’re a man who seeks to become a long-lasting lover, here are a few tips on how to kick premature ejaculation to the curb permanently.

1) Practice deep breathing.

Slow and controlled breathing is an effective tool used to slow heart rate, clear the mind and bring one into awareness of self. During sex, chemicals and hormones are released into the bloodstream that can cause the pace of the heart to quicken.  Anxiety can begin to build in the mind of a man who has experienced premature ejaculation more often than not, and this can also create tension in the body and a quickened heart rate.  Before entering your partner, take the time to use deep breathing to calm your heart and mind.  Close your eyes, take a deep breath into your lungs, hold it for 3 seconds and then breathe out slowly through your mouth.  As you release the air from your lungs and into the atmosphere of the room, imagine your anxiety and concerns flowing out of your body with your breath.  As your refill your lungs with more air on the next breath, imagine your body filling with confidence and control. Hold your breath for another 3 seconds and then release it while becoming aware of how your body is feeling as you continue to take deep breaths. Do this exercise until you feel you have control over your body.  Empty your mind, slow your heart rate and shake off the anxiety created by past experiences.

2) Change the mantra in your mind.

It is very common for men who experience premature ejaculation regularly to recite a mantra in their minds during sex that will encourage an early release. “I’m going to lose it” is a common mantra that many men default to in their heads during sex.  “You are what you say you are” rings true in this case, as the mind tells the body how to function.

If you think you’re going to climax too soon, then you will. The key to your delayed orgasm is to change the mantra in your mind from, “I’m going to lose it” to “I have control.”  You have control over how your body responds during sexual activity, so be conscious of what you’re feeling when you do feel your orgasm approaching.  The more aware you are of what gets you there sooner, the better you will become at knowing how to adjust yourself to reduce your sensations. The mind is the largest sex organ, so train it to have control over your release.

3) Change up your self pleasuring technique.

Masturbation is a very healthy form of sexual expression.  However, when the act is done too frequently, with aggression or while holding anxiety in the mind, a man can train himself to become a rapid releaser.  Make a commitment to abstain from masturbation for at least 5 days a month.  It may be a challenge, but it will be healthy for you.  You will build up your chi, which is your life force energy and have more to use throughout the day to focus on other projects.  This time frame should be used to reset your self pleasuring methods.

When you return to masturbation, only use the act to have a release once a week.  You can stimulate yourself as much as you like, but the goal is to only allow yourself to ejaculate once a week.  Masturbation should be done slowly and with an awareness of how the body is responding to arousal.  The goal of masturbation is to get to the orgasm, but this mindset rushes the process and trains the body to rapidly reach a climax.  Take your time, deny your orgasm and train yourself to last longer.

4) Treat yourself with the PE program.

Online sex therapy platform Between Us Clinic has teamed up with certified sexologist Dr. Zvi Zuckerman to create the PE Program, a smart online system that utilizes sexual behavioral exercises to help men overcome premature ejaculation.  At the click of a button, men can receive their own personalized exercise program and begin to treat their issue.

“These exercises help men to gain awareness to the feelings and sensations that precede ejaculation and then to use this awareness to better ‘tolerate’ the stimulation and prolong the sexual act,” explains Dr. Zuckerman about the program. “We have also included supportive information that would help single men and couples to deal with common difficulties that may arise during treatment. All of the information we have included is based on common sex therapy practice and years of experience I have with patients at my clinic.” The program typically takes 1-3 months to complete and treat premature ejaculation.

Yes, there are ways to prevent the urge to climax sooner than one desires, and the techniques are simple.

Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website,, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active.curious. Follow her on Twitter at@glamazontyomi.