Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. 

1) Michael Sam and Contextualizing The Stupid: Many a gay has had to contend with the unfortunate reality that numerous simpletons conflate sexual preference with perversion. They don’t understand that when a person has a predominate attraction to someone of the same sex, it does not mean they immediately want to pounce on any person of the same sex around them. No really, if I’m at the gym and I need to take a shower, simply being in the same room with a bunch of other guys is not going to make my penis jump up and try to turn the cherry of every man within the perimeter out. Michael Sam is the latest example of this stigma, but given his status as the first openly gay player in the NFL, Sam is under a much larger microscope.

During a SportsCenter segment that aired on Tuesday, ESPN reporter Josina Anderson quoted an anonymous St. Louis Rams teammate who said, “Another defensive player told me Sam is ‘respecting our space’ and from his perspective he seems to think Michael Sam is kind of waiting to take a shower so as to not make his teammates feel uncomfortable.”



ESPN has since apologized for this. That’s awesome for political correctness, but the inconvenient truth is this is just one stereotype that will be leveled at Sam and others will follow. Ultimately, if ESPN is to highlight Sam’s journey – including the idiocies of his peers in the league – so be it…only do so appropriately. Like, call the stereotypes out and effectively contextualize how ridiculous all this is. Otherwise, don’t bother at all because there are enough juvenile people around. They don’t need to be pandered to any further on television.

2) Celebrity Kids Should Be A Shade-Free Zone: Stay the hell out of Blue Ivy Carter’s scalp and go deal with whatever is wrong inside your own damn head. Likewise, North West can’t help who her mother is so don’t drag that baby “in jest” over something beyond her control. Children should be off limits no matter how famous you find them to be. Pick on someone your own size. Also: Get spayed.

3) White Privilege Is Real, Rich Old White Man on FOX News: Bill O’Reilly commentary about Black folks is usually contemptuous so anything that would get in the way of the bull he spews on TV – facts, history, fact-based arguments coupled with historical context – cannot be entertained. Yet, Megyn Kelly, who clearly knows that one day all of these old conservative white folks watching FOX News will one day die and she’ll need their grandkids’ respect to keep a job in the future, tried to educate Bill. Surprise, surprise: Bill didn’t want to be bothered.

I mean, Bill O’Reilly is a paid handsomely to be a crotchety bigot who opines on various political issues and cultural issues – typically without knowing what he’s talking about. If that ain’t white privilege, I don’t know what is. It’s a real thing, O’Reilly. Embrace your blessing, beloved.

4)Someone Give Stacey Dash A Regular Acting Job: In a recent segment on FOX News’ Outnumbered actress turned political commentator Stacey Dash said of Obama’s handling of the terrorist group ISIL: “The greatest trick the devil ever played on us, on the world, is getting us to believe he did not exist. Obama thinks if he closes his eyes like a kid, it’s not there. He ignored the problem, and now it’s a crisis. I believe we have to strike. They killed an American. But I don’t know if he’s going to do that.”

It’s perfectly fine to invoke Satan’s name when talking foreign policy at a church fish fry, but there should be higher standards for a cable news network. She gotta go before CNN gets the bright idea to tap LisaRaye for a similar position.

5) Please Stop, Lil’ Kim: Kimberly Jones: If you’re going to talk about people stealing things – i.e. the Nicki Minaj bashing track “Identity Theft” – how about you not steal her flow on the “No Flex Zone” remix (that Nicki had already released. Stop letting the people around you exploit what’s left of your legacy. Actually, stop dissing Nicki Minaj altogether. You already lost that fight. Also, do not drop anymore of these sad remixes. Work on something original. Or better yet, call Foxy Brown and Mona Scott-Young and look into getting a show about starting over. See if Da Brat can make a few guest appearances.