Michael Arceneaux, EBONY.com contributor and Master of Shade, calls out five of his biggest gripes from the past week. Rejoice and be read. Follow Michael @youngsinick.


1. There Is No Feminist Way To Say Faggot, Beloved: In an interview with QutQ’s Xorje Olivares on Sirius XM, Azealia Banks defended her use of the gay slur “faggot” under the pretense that she is doing so from some sort of feminist perspective. Banks explained: “I feel like when I use the word ‘faggot,’ it comes from, like, a feminist point of view, not a homophobic point of view. It’s really just kinda like you feel attacked as a woman.”

And yet, as others and I have pointed out, Banks insults gay and straight men alike by calling them “faggot” and likening them to women, which would not be insult to, like, an actual feminist. Meanwhile, this is the same stupid kind of logic non-Black people employ when defending their use of “nigga.” Not to mention, if you’re not the person who the slur is directly trying to demean, it’s not your place to define what it means.

In sum, this girl is self-destructive, and, like, doing a fantastic job of proving TV One ample amount of material for her episode of Unsung.

2. Kanye West Is Entitled To His Opinion, But…: Speaking with Ryan Seacrest, Kanye West had this to say about him temporarily stepping on stage after Beck beat out Beyoncé for Album of the Year, “The voices in my head told me to go up.” This man is likely missing a diagnosis, but beyond that though it was rude for him to even partially spoil Beck’s moment, Kanye Kardashian had every right to believe that Beyoncé should’ve won. He went on to tell Seacrest, “The Grammys (are the) artists’ Super Bowl, and somebody’s gotta be mad that Marshawn didn’t get the ball.” It’s a pretty great analogy, but he still could’ve sat his ass down and waited until the post-Grammy interviews or Twitter to relay the sentiment. I know he’s the president of the Chicago branch of the BeyHive, but as a founding member, I must say that us stans have got to know when to exercise some chill.

All that said, to you people mad that Kanye dared speak his mind: shut up. God bless, though.

3. You Already Put The Tip In, Netflix: When I noticed that Netflix “accidentally” (for you conspiracy theorists out there) leaked the new season of House of Cards, two weeks early, I did a little shoulder sideways, smack it, smack it in the air and proceeded to tweet my excitement and watch the first episode. And then, not long after Netflix decided to pull what it had already uploaded to its servers. I know February 27 is not far away, but they made a mistake, and these days, once something is out there, shouldn’t it just stay out there? No? Well shut up, because that first episode was good and now I’m made I cannot waste my life away binge watching.

4. But You Can’t Sing, Sis: Nicki Minaj gave a lovely interview to Vogue.com about many topics, including feminism, living a “freer” life these days as a single woman, and her latest album, The Pinkprint. If you haven’t heard, it’s pretty damn good so long as you skip the six songs where she’s trying to sing ballads. However, for those of us who continue to pray to God that our beloved Nicki realizes her strengths, I have bad news.

Nicki said: “When I listen to a song like ‘Grand Piano,’ I’m proud of myself that I sang that song. I’m a rapper at the end of the day, but I sang a song like ‘Grand Piano’ and people can feel every word. And it doesn’t sound like a rapper singing a song. It just sounds like a beautiful song.”

It sounds like a ballad with laryngitis, but to each its own. I should know better given we never were able to convince Lil’ Kim to stop singing either.

5. Actually, Joni Mitchell Has Lied: In an interview with New York magazine, Joni Mitchell said she knows what it’s like to be a Black man, explaining, “When I see Black men sitting, I have a tendency to go — like I nod like I’m a brother. I really feel an affinity because I have experienced being a Black guy on several occasions.”

If you’re wondering what in the hell this old woman could be talking about, the reporter did, too, pushing Mitchell to elaborate. “Well, did you ever see the cover of Don Juan’s Reckless Daughter? That’s me. The Black guy in the front,” she added.

So this crazy woman believes she knows what it’s like to be a Black man because she wore Blackface for an album cover. So does your Aunt Cookie know what it’s like to be a panda bear because she bought a rug on sale at the flea market two decades ago? Bless Joni Mitchell’s heart. She’s a few wings short of a Popeye’s combo meal.