It’s really hard to choose sides in a “beef” between Snoop Dogg and Iggy Azalea given on one side there is a man who is your “cool,” but supremely misogynistic uncle who can be childish as hell, and on the other, some imposter you desperately want deported back to her native country. Then there’s the reality that in many ways, both parties are wrong as sin.


However, it looks like their rift – which is remarkably stupid even by 2014 standards – is over. Well, that is if you actually believe Snoop is genuinely sorry for making fun of Iggy Azalea. I am sober as I write this, so I clearly don’t buy what the D-O-GG is selling. Nevertheless, I imagine T.I. angrily short-man stomped around Snoop for a few seconds while explaining his frustration, only to present him a bag of the finest marijuana in a sign of good faith – which Calvin graciously accepted in an attempt to give peace a chance.

It seems Snoop has also apologized to Iggy’s boyfriend, LA Laker Nick Young, while dually insulting him. Whatever, everyone’s happy now, or at the very least, pretending to be.

Great, now we can move on to why Iggy and Snoop are both worrisome? Snoop is a 100-year-old man (in rap years) responding to a woman and colleague (yes, she’s technically a rapper) by uploading an Instragram video declaring, “Say, b—h, you’re f–king with the wrong n—a, and your n—a better check you before I do.” You go out of your way to insult her, and when she takes offense, you proceed to threaten her? This is the kind of man K. Michelle makes money condemning.

Don’t get me wrong. Given Snoop’s catalog, this is very much in line with whom he portrays himself to be. That person could stand to fall deep into a well for these misogynistic antics, but if nothing else, Snoop is consistent. As for Iggy Azalea: For a woman who took several shots at artists all the time online before “Fancy” blew up, it’s interesting to see her get hypersensitive when someone cracks a joke on her. Say there, White girl with Diamond from Crime Mob’s speech pattern: if you’re going to pretend to be down, you might want to know that ‘round our way, many Black folks partake in the hobby of clowning each other. It’s not always nice, but it’s typically relatively harmless. Welcome to the dozens, daughter of Crocodile Dundee.

Also, let’s not forget that Iggy once spit “I’m a runaway slave…master,” and the hip-hop community turned a blind eye.

Then there’s Azealia Banks, who never, ever resists the urge to tag herself into some mess that has absolutely nothing to do with her. She has a point when she says: “And why isn’t t.i jumping down snoops throat? But will jump at a chance to say anything to me?” Same goes for: “Where was the white media when T.I threatened to push me down the stairs though?” But, but, but: Mainstream media, and in particular, those White fashion kids, have a lot to do with what little success you’ve had, Ms. Banks. Not to mention her complaining about media paying too much attention to her beefs and not her product (that she’s yet to put out, or whatever.) She continues: “Lol, the dynamics of Urban media and the Urban world just make me laugh.” Azealia Banks, you are a Black girl from Harlem who often wears a weave down to her ankles and says “nigga” every other 30 seconds. Let’s not come for “urban” anything. Better yet, why are you even using “urban” to denote Black? That’s mighty white of you. For the record, it was people like me – i.e. those who write in both mainstream and URBAN spaces – that helped contextualize a lot of the mess you purposely got yourself into. Yes, hip-hop is sexist and the treatment you and even Iggy Azalea get from time to time are clear examples of that. Still, there’s something to be said of owning your mistakes and learning from them.

To that end, Snoop, you need to shut up and go back to dancing on random stages like you’re at a cookout. It’s never too late to learn to treat women with respect, how about giving that at try now that you’re in the twilight of your (rap) life? Iggy, if you want to be taken seriously as a rapper (which is pretty impossible, but lets just play along for a moment here), you must learn to respond to these men the way Foxy Brown and Lil’ Kim would have in ’97. And Azaelia…all we want to hear from you is that album.

Michael Arceneaux is the author of the “The Weekly Read,” where tough love is served with just a touch of shade. Tweet him at @youngsinick.