Jada Pinkett Smith revealed she began to wear turbans as a way to cover up her struggle with hair loss during the latest episode of her Facebook talk show, Red Table Talk.

Smith described the first time she noticed “handfuls of hair” while in the shower and went on to declare the “terrifying” moment as the reason she cut her tresses off. “It was one of those times in my life where I was literally shaking with fear,” the actress said. “That’s why I cut my hair and continued to cut it.”

She went on to admit that medical tests to determine the cause of her alopecia have been inconclusive, but overall she believes it’s a response to stress. While she could have chosen to be devastated, Smith said wouldn’t trade losing something else to maintain her formerly thick head of hair. “The higher power takes so much from people… and, by golly, if the higher power wants to take your hair. That’s it?” she said. “What else would you lose? What else would you put on the table for God to take? Take the hair.”

The Gotham star expressed that wearing turbans makes her “feel like a queen” and allows her to act like she has long hair.

Red Table Talk features Smith, her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, and daughter Willow Smith, as they dissect a different life topic every week. Previous episodes of the show focused on motherhood and loss. Through the show, Smith hopes to help other families become more vocal and share their thoughts intergenerationally.

New episodes are posted on Facebook every Monday.