Reality star Tammy Rivera announced the untimely death of her cousin Chris on Sunday. In a series of texts and photos, she expressed how the loss affected her New Year’s Eve excitement.

According to the, Rivera uploaded a teary-eyed selfie showing her emotional turmoil. “I can’t sleep eyes burn and feelings hurt,” she wrote in the Instagram story.

Photo Credit: Tammy Rivera’s Instagram Story

“He didn’t even make it to see 2019 my f***ing heart is hurt.” —Tammy Rivera

The Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star regrouped before sharing another message about Chris’s death on Dec. 31.

“I was excited about the new year until I got the call last night that my cousin was killed tonight as I thank God for allowing me to see the new year I’ll be crying for you Chris even though I know I should be rejoicing that you made it out this hell hole,” she wrote. “It still hurts the same tell Aunt Tammy [hi] for me!”

Rivera concluded that she would “drink tonight until the pain is gone.”

Despite being hurt over her cousin’s death, she celebrated New Year’s with her husband, rapper Waka Flocka, at the Beautiful Bosses dinner hosted by fellow Atlantans Kandi Burruss, Toya Wright and Rasheeda.

In 2019, Rivera and Flocka will appear on the upcoming season of WE tv’s Marriage Bootcamp: Hip Hop Edition.