I envision NeNe Leakes being an even sassier old lady in the decades to come – still rocking big blond hair and heels, still cursing people out if they get out of pocket. However, the universe tried it recently and gave the reality star and actress a bit of a scare. She recently said that she "wasn't feeling well and was feeling a little short of breath" last week, so she went to the hospital to find out what might be wrong. That’s when she was informed that she had blood clots in her lungs. Fortunately, she’s now doing better. She explained: "I'm thankful to be alive as the doctor advised me that most people don't recognize the symptoms of blood clots and don't go to the doctor and that's when the big problems start happening. Contrary to published reports I did not have a heart attack."

Even her adversary and former co-star, Sheree Whitfield, wished her well: "I'll say a prayer for her and I'm hoping she makes a quick recovery. She's a fighter, so I know she'll be okay." That’s a very polite way of saying, “I don’t like her, but I don’t want her to die.” [E! News]

Mary J. Blige is looking mighty snatched on the cover of Shape magazine. When asked about her physical transformation, MJB cited Whitney Houston’s death as the reason why she decided to take her health even more seriously. She explained: “Whitney Houston’s death really crushed me. I saw someone so incredibly talented just diminish, and I refuse to go out like that.” [Idolator]

Last week it was polygamy and this week there is a colorism-related Akon story. There are reports that Akon along with singer WizKid had a video shoot in Ghana and requested that no dark skinned models be present. Instead, they sought “half-castegirls.” A source revealed: “At least Akon was honest in his advertising instead of wasting dark skinned models [sic] time and expense to go to an audition under a false pretense of equality all the while knowing he was only going to book half-caste models anyway. That happens all the time.” Three words: We’s free now. [Miss Jia]

Diana Ross may soon be spending the holidays with Jessica Simpson. Diana’s 25-year-old son, actor Evan Ross, has been dating Jessica’s sister, singer or something Ashlee Simpson. When asked about their future, Evan acknowledged, “Yeah, she’s the one,” while adding that he could “forsee” wedding bells. Evan said of their relationship: "It’s amazing. I’m so in love and we’ve got amazing things going on. And we inspire each other.” Tuh. [omg! Insider]

Kelis informed fans a year ago that she attended Le Cordon Bleu culinary school and became a certified saucier. Last week, the singer debuted her new sauce line called “Feast” at the Beverly Hills Food & Wine Festival.

When asked about the sauce, Kelis explained: “At Feast, we want to celebrate life. And we want to do it daily. The most joyous, the most memorable, the most nostalgic moments in our lives…often times occur during a feast. Weddings, birthdays, reunions, first dates, proposals… festive food is inseparable from our most precious moments. At Feast, we believe that these moments shouldn’t be limited to only once or twice a year. At Feast, every day will be a celebration of life, love and happiness. Every day will truly feel like a special occasion. Every day will be a holiday.”

I won’t make a milkshake joke. Nope. I won’t do it. [Necole Bitchie]

Gucci Mane is suing Waka Flocka and his mama, Deb Antney, for allegedly stealing from him—amongst other things. Per TMZ, Gucci is suing “for fraud, racketeering, and conspiracy… and wants the courts to freeze Waka and his mom’s assets. Oh, and he wants a ring and chain returned that he claims Waka's mom stole from him.” To quote Gucci (BRR!), “Well damn.” Deb Antney responded, “I’m so speechless. It’s so crazy."

“Drugs, greed and women ruined him — that’s it. Don’t blame that sh*t on me! Bless his heart — somebody call Dr. Phil for him!” [TMZ, Rumor Fix]

Outkast may be reuniting in 2014. The duo are said to be in talks to to reunite next year for the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival. One source acknowledges “some conversations” between André 3000 and Big Boi have taken place, though another says “all systems go.” I won’t believe it until I hear it – particularly from the usual long hold out, 3000. [Billboard]

In other Atlanta musical act reunion news, there are chirps that Xscape will reunite on a future episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mind you, Kandi Burruss stopped seeing it for Tamika and LaTocha Scott after they blamed her for the breakup of the group and accused her of sleeping with Jermaine Dupri. I want to believe this, but that’s only because I still listen to Off The Hook and Traces of My Lipstick. [Singersroom]

Oh, and Soul IV Real has reunited and are planning a reality show. No, thank you. Squared. [Rhymes With Snitch]

In creep life news, Usian Bolt is in love with Rihanna.





Like really, really in love with her.



So very, very in love.

P.S. Dude, where’s your chill?

Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.