I blame this on Blue Ivy.
Before the Beyhive aims their stingers at me in protection of their queen, let me explain.
Beyonce’s performance and subsequent announcement of her pregnancy at the 28th annual MTV Video Music Awards has possibly made it impossible for the event to soar to a new height this year. And beyond that, last night was full of “WTF” moments that quite honestly left me feeling like I could have caught the highlights on the news the next day. Nothing seemed to take me to the height of last year. So in an effort to put this all in perspective, I give you the following:
1) Rihanna’s ‘Cockiness?’ It better not be in regards to vocals: Rihanna as the opening act was a great decision, however having her sing live…eh, not so much. One thing about Rihanna is that she can definitely put on a show–like the red hot performance that she did last night for “Cockiness”. The thing is, instead of her vocals adding to the heat in her performance, her crotch-focused choreography did. Her vocals were instead more like the awkward moments in a passionate session of love-making where your lover somehow misses the “spot” in the heat of the moment. No baby, go that way **points Ri-Ri to vocal trainer**
2) Kevin Hart is king: Arguably the funniest comedian currently in the business, MTV did a great job by selecting him to host. When he came out with the little people as his security, I literally laugh out loud; “I told MTV I was going to need a little security, I think they took me literally.” Priceless! He addressed some of the elephants in the room, like Chris Brown and Drake’s beef, Frank Ocean’s coming out and Snooki’s pregnancy—yet again, priceless. However, the lull of laughs in between all of this: awkward. My anticipation of laughing because of who it was ran higher than the actual occurrences of laughter.
3) Rita Ora stunned: But was clearly loaned Beyonce or Rihanna’s stylist for the night. Hire them, girl!
4) Frank Ocean…. Ooo nah, nah, NAH! Okay, I’ll be honest; I missed the start of the VMA’s so I was forced to hear all of the “rave” reviews until I caught the rerun. And then I caught the rerun. I appreciated the simplicity—wait…I’m lying let me stop. Make no mistake about it, I love Frank but I would have preferred a different song selection and more visual creativity. For example, “Whip Appeal”, the up-tempo and racy track, would have been amazing as a live performance—especially had a band performed. Excuse me for using my imagination…it’s only the VMA’s we’re talking about. Pass me the roasted marshmallows Frank; I’ll need some nourishment to get me through this last one.
5) Alicia Keys, thank your guests: I love Alicia Keys and I love her new style; it’s quite fitting. Her new song? Eh, not so much. Her performance? Listen…thank God for Gabby Douglas and, yes, Nicki Minaj, too (not her hair or ANY of her wardrobe selections, though). I was two seconds from changing the channel after not being able to take the boredom anymore, and then Nicki’s verse dropped and Gabby was flipping across stage. Way to wake us up loves—it was much appreciated.