Black-ish actress Tracee Ellis Ross is an accomplished woman in our eyes. But at Glamour’s 2017 of the Year Summit, the 45-year-old admitted her personal success had been called into question.

“It’s really interesting to be a woman and to get to 45 and not be married and not have kids,” she said while delivering a speech at the event. “Especially when you have just pushed out your fifth kid on TV. You start hearing crazy sh-t like: ‘Oh, you just haven’t found the right guy yet,’ ‘What are you going to DO?’ ‘Oh, you poor thing,’ ‘Why is someone like you still single?’ ‘Have you ever thought of having kids?’ ‘Why don’t you just have a kid on your own.’ It’s never ending and not helpful.”

Despite the many victories that have defined her acting career, Ross says her evident success still doesn’t ward off those who feel the need to project their idea of happiness onto her.

“And then someone tells me about their friend who adopted a child at 52 and how ‘it’s never too late for your life to have meaning,’ and my worth gets diminished as I am reminded that I have ‘failed’ on the marriage and carriage counts,” Ross said. “Me! This bold, liberated, independent woman.”

“So here I am sorting out what MY LIFE looks like when it’s fully mine,” she continued. “It takes a certain bravery to do that. It means risking being misunderstood, perceived as alone and broken, having no one to focus on, fall into or hide behind, having to be my own support and having to stretch and find family love and connection outside of the traditional places. But, I want to do it. I want to be the Brave Me, the real me, the one whose life is my own.”