So the Internet is blowing up about a story that Kelli Amirah, a 19-year-old college student,who was lovestruck after ordering up an Uber.

Kelli, who posted the story under the handle @kelliAmirah, wanted more than a ride from her Über driver. As soon as she saw him, she immediately went into planning mode on how to get his digits:

Kelli then goes on to describe how she plotted with her friend through texts—who was also riding in the Über—about how to best go about copping the “fine” driver:

The two concluded that the best way to get this guy’s attention was to leave her charger in his vehicle “on accident.”

Ultimately, Kelli’s plan works. She ends up getting back in touch with the handsome, fine, somewhat nerdy-looking Über driver and getting his phone number. Sadly, he turns out to be married and honestly trash if the story’s conclusion can be correctly interpreted as a ploy to make her a side chick:

Good job for Kelli not going down that path.

Her story is funny, suspenseful and relatable, but it also teaches us a very critical lesson: the importance of being upfront about what you want, especially when it comes to love…no matter what gender you are.

During a conversation we had here in the EBONY newsroom in Chicago about this very thread, someone shared that a man told her that women are the “new men” with their thirst. If I’m being honest, by society’s definition, Kelli’s actions could classify her as “thirsty.” Women should never pursue a man under any circumstances—so we’re told—and if a man doesn’t approach you, he doesn’t want you. Well, I will be the first person to tell you just how flawed and whack that mode of thinking is.

Sure, we can classify Kelli’s behavior as “shy,” but if I had to guess, gender roles influenced (even if only on a subconscious level) her decision to go back and forth with her friend when approaching this dude. Forget the fact that men get shy too, fear rejection and may just be plain awkward when attempting to express interest.

Women are taught to do the rejecting, not get rejected.

While we cannot discard the influence of gender roles on society, it’s time to throw away the double standards. A man can approach you, show hella interest and still not be interested in you for the long term. Instead of focusing on who approaches who, let’s promote confidence when it comes to getting rejected. Kelli would’ve saved herself a lot of time—and battery life—if she would’ve flat out asked buddy then and there for his phone number. She would’ve found out that he was married and would have easily been able to dismiss him versus playing the waiting game.

Another key thing to note is the importance of intuitively picking up on chemistry. While a 15-minute Über ride may not be enough time to tell if someone is feeling you, there are certain cues and energies that speak louder than words ever can. Does he or she actively engage in conversation with you? Do they make eye contact (when applicable since he was operating a vehicle in this case) when talking to/addressing you? Does there seem to be a mutual interest in keeping touch? While feelings can sometimes be incorrect, intuition can never be wrong. Nurture it.

As for Kelli Amirah, kudos to her for going after what she wanted, even if he did turn out to be whack. Check out Kelli’s full account of her story here.

Shantell E. Jamison is a digital editor for and Her book, “Drive Yourself in the Right Direction” is available on Amazon. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter @Shantell_em and Instagram @Shantell_em.