Valentine’s Day: the two most misunderstood words in any man’s life. For the novice gent, it appears to be a holiday where two people share their love for each other through gifts and other novelties. But the savvy veteran understands that Valentine’s Day isn’t about she and I. It’s about her. And in this day in age, it’s about making sure she has some Instagram-worthy moments from the most love-filled night of the year. “My boo got me flowers, and picked me up in a limo, and took me to Mr Chow, and now we’re checking into the Four Seasons for our nightcap. #lovemesomehim #bestboyfriendever #youwishyouwereme.”

Fellas, I don’t know if you noticed yet, but we’re competing with one another. See, when you do something “ballerific” on Valentine’s Day, that then forces other men to go even more over the top to cater to our women.

And to think, of all the effort we put in, we rarely get jack on the one day love is supposed to be shared worldwide. But beyond that, most women don’t even know what to get a man for V-Day.

So, we sat with down five guys and asked what they want their woman to do for them on Valentine’s Day. 

EBONY: It’s a weird question, I know. but if you could tell your girl what you want from her in three words, what would it be?

“Cater to me, like that Beyoncé song. I want her to be more proactive. Have I been telling you about a certain movie I want to see? Sneak and get the tickets on Fandango. There’s nothing sexier than a woman that knows what her man wants!”

—Richard, Irvington, NJ, 24

“Prep for me, get that mani and pedi done for our night out. I hate a woman with jacked-up feet, so focus on that. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.”

—Chancelor, Pittsburgh, PA, 29

Rub me down, with body oil. A woman who knows how to give a massage is clearly heaven sent.”

—Norman, South Orange New Jersey, 26

EBONY: So you just got home after your Valentine’s Day dinner. Now what?

“This is when you go slide on that pink lace lingerie you from Victoria Secret. You know the one you always tell me about. I’m a simple man.”

—Chancelor, Pittsburgh, PA, 29

“Throw on my favorite CD, which happens to be Maxwell’s BLACKsummers’night and dim the lights.”

—Jamel, Baltimore, Maryland 28

“Bake some of my favorite cookies. The Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookies get me every time.”

—Ryan, Miami, Florida, 32

“After a great night, I love a strong drink, preferably Hennesey XO, if she has that in fridge. I’ll make it a night to remember.”

Nate, Philadelphia, 24

EBONY: What about the morning after Valentine’s Day?

“Breakfast in bed! Please get your fine self in the kitchen. If I can wake up to some French toast covered in warm maple syrup with side of bacon, I know it’s love!”

—Chancelor, Pittsburgh, PA, 29

“Spa day! Not a couples’ spa day either. As selfish as this may sound, how about you surprise me with a day pass to Massage Envy? Thank you in advance.”

—Richard, Irvington, NJ, 24

“You can make me anything—some eggs, some toast, whatever’cause my appetite is craving more of last night, but this time with some edible friends. Throw in some fruit, Hershey’s chocolate syrup and whipped cream, of course.”

—Norman, South Orange New Jersey, 26

So let’s recap ladies. The main point here is that men are simple. We don’t want much, but we need something. Pass along these CliffsNotes below:

1. Look good for your man on Valentine’s Day.

2. Cater to us, too.

3. Make us some good-ass food.

4. And oh yeah, have sex with us. That probably should’ve been number one. 

—Corey Chalameau