In this edition of “Post-Racial White People Pretending To Be In Peril,” a White woman in Missouri has filed suit against the owner of a McDonald’s in St. Ann and employees of that franchise for what she describes as discrimination—all over a biscuit.

According to Courthouse News Service, Amber Gilleylen alleges that on November 30, 2011, she complained to Mickey D’s employee Tonya Wesley about her food and was met with the clap back. In her formal complaint, Gilleylen claims: “Tonya Wesley abusively yelled to the entire restaurant in a loud voice that ‘the White chick has a problem with her biscuits.’”

Heavens no, she was called “the White chick” in a town with a population of 13,000—67 percent of which is White versus the 22 percent who are Black. How did she ever get through that day? Is your heart aching for Amber yet? Hold on to your nerves, it gets worse.

Tonya and her manager, Pardeep Roe, informed Ms. Gilleylen that while she may get her money back since she is unsatisfied with her order, she would not get any free food as a result.

How dare they deny her a freebie in her fury?

Maybe the “discriminatory duo” knew that the biscuits were good because they had some on break. Or perhaps they were low on supplies so if Amber wasn’t satisfied, fine, but gon’ somewhere else with your appetite. Apparently whatever the rationale was, Amber felt that a grave wrong had happened and now somebody’s got to pay.

Not done doing the most, there’s also this in the complaint: “Defendants refused to serve [Gilleylen] based on her color, race and sex. Defendants denied [Gilleylen] full and equal use and enjoyment of a place of public accommodation based on her color, sex and race.”

And she claims that Wesley “threatened [Gilleylen] with bodily harm,” caused her to “suffer apprehension of offensive contact” and end up “damaged in the form of emotional distress and humiliation.” Interesting that the comment about “the White chick” was made public, but the alleged threat hasn’t been explained. If Wesley did that, shame on her. Shame on her for the whole thing, but this story is not hardly sounding like the chocolate-covered KKK action that the plaintiff is claiming it to be.

Lady Biscuit Bitterness filed a charge with the Missouri Commission on Human Rights (MCHR) in February, and MCHR gave her the right to sue for alleged discrimination in July.

I have questions.

When did McDonald’s biscuits become seasoned with Jesus’ joy and Beyoncé’s happy tears? Who knew they were worth all this trouble. Amber is out here saying two employees harbor “evil motive or reckless indifference to the rights of others” due to their refusal to give them a free biscuit.

And while on I’m on this, aren’t biscuits ala carte like less than a dollar? I know the economy is bad, but for all that paperwork and energy she could’ve bought a can of Grand’s, some store brand jelly and honey and sulked her sadness with all that sodium tastiness. Or you know, went to Paradise (aka Popeye’s Chicken.)

Have you ever heard something stupid? Sadly, you might need to prep for more suits in this fashion. Clearly, such is issue with a lawsuit happy nation, but as Bonnie Kavoussi of The Huffington Post explains, being as koo-koo as you are entitled is the move in this post-Black presidency country.

A new study from researchers at Tufts University’s School of Arts and Sciences and Harvard Business School shows that Whites believe that they have replaced Blacks as the primary victims of racial discrimination in contemporary America. Speaking of racial discrimination in contemporary America, an employee for a fast food chain was accused of writing the word “nigger DON’T TIP” on a receipt to a Black customer in 2010, and more recently, another chain that likes to include Bible verses with the meals they serve has been accused of not wanting to hire Blacks.

But hey, that biscuit, damn, that’s rough, huh?

Amber Gilleylen wants punitive damages for discrimination and assault. I would like for every biscuit she has to taste like mustiness with dirt sprinkles for the rest of her life. Likewise, anyone foolish enough to think that in any year in this country White people are facing discrimination more than anyone with a permanent tan.

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer and blogger. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick