Gemini  (May 21st to June 20th)

I know, I know: you don’t do slow. You don’t think slow, you don’t move slow, you probably don’t talk slow and you definitely aren’t intellectually slow. Okay, then don’t be about the fast life right now; because it’s likely if you are about that life, things may go down several different ways for you: 1) You’ll burn brightly, burn fast and burn out in a short period of time, like a 30 watt bulb in a 100 watt socket. 2) You’ll come off like a jerk while attempting to convince people that you’re not one, which will in fact lead others to think that you’re probably more of a jerk than previously known. 3) You’ll be rushing to catch yourself in a clusterfasnizzle at the end of the week that might have been avoided if you slowed your roll even a little bit and thought some things through.  But you didn’t do that because your ego took you back to the first sentence of this horoscope.

Samuel F. Reynolds is a NYC-based astrologer. His personal consultations have been described as “healing” and “brilliantly insightful.” He’s offering special, recorded 1-hour consultations for $95 for readers, in person or by phone/skype. For more info, visit, write [email protected] or follow him on twitter at @sfreynolds.