Today’s generation of Black women are much different from our grandparents’ generation. Most Black families have a woman as the breadwinner of the household. Black women also excel in education and entrepreneurship in comparison to other groups. While this is amazing for the progress of Black women, the alpha woman inside her makes finding love challenging.
Like most women, the alpha woman desires a strong, masculine, alpha male. However, alpha males are usually attracted to the opposite of themselves. They want a woman who embodies feminine energy. Black men compete with the challenges of the world the minute they step out of their home. When he comes home, the last thing he wants to do is compete with his woman as head of the household.
Now ladies, I know what you’re thinking. “Jasmine, no one cares about gender roles anymore.” Well, that’s just not true. While, I’ll admit the dynamics of marriage are changing, but much remains the same. Many of the men I talk to still desire to be the protectors and providers of their families.
Alpha women who are use to being the bosses in their own worlds, sometimes find it challenging to be vulnerable in their relationships and allow men to play the roles of protector and provider. Yet, there are times dating an alpha woman has its benefits. Ladies, here are four moments, and benefits to putting on your alpha woman cape while still turning your alpha male partner on.
1) In The Bedroom …
An alpha woman has no problem making the first move. She’s used to going after what she wants. Since men are usually the first to initiate sex, dating an alpha woman who is comfortable and confident with her sexuality is a change he’ll appreciate. Men love it when a woman takes the time to initiate. Alpha women are the best at doing just that.
2) When Making Plans …
Men tend to pay less attention to detail. Therefore, women usually plan the birthday parties, special dinners and vacations. When an alpha woman is responsible for the planning, she does it better than anyone. She’ll negotiate the best deals, has the network to get access to exclusive venues and she won’t wait for “bae” to contact the airline when the flight has been cancelled. She’s already on top of it, and is demanding a refund and complimentary flights.
3) In Business …
Alpha women are high achievers and risk takers and chase success just as hard as men do. So, when her alpha male partner decides to go after his dreams, she’s all for it. Instead of talking him out of taking risks, she’ll help with the game plan. Plus, she’ll Robin his Batman in the business meetings. In the words of Beyonce “When you’re in them big meetings for the mills/It take me just to compliment the deals.” In business, the alpha woman will certainly upgrade you.
4) When Raising Children …
We all see the videos of kids dang near raising their parents on Facebook. When mom tells the kid to stop, he hits or screams at her. You know who this would never happen with? Alpha women. Not only will an alpha woman raise her children to be respectful, but will have high expectations for their education and accomplishments. This is because she holds herself to high levels of accountability, and she’ll naturally do the same with her children.
Overall, the key to dating as an alpha woman is balance. There are times when the woman should take the lead and times when the man should. Alpha women are most successful in their love lives when they know when to lead and when to be led.
Jasmine Turner is a professional matchmaker, dating coach, and founder of Black Match Made. She has created courses and workshops to help women in their dating lives. You can catch up with her via Facebook Jas Loves Love or Instagram @jasloveslove.